soundtrack: dido: hunter fertile ground: be natural
the last person that i wanted to see before the semester started; i ran into bbq, first when i was taking a lunch break and then in the weight room in the gym. geez, i swear God is just chuckling up there because all day, all i could think about was how many things bbq and i used to do... alot; lunch, study, hang out. blah. conversation wasn't all that stimulating; he kept on avoiding mentioning his girlfriend (which i could tell, was why he was so happy) which he must of spent his time with during the holidays. blah. i felt embarrased though that i didn't invite him to the new year's party (cos i could of, but i chickened out) because he found out about it. i made the excuse that it was last minute and how it was all jam's idea. blah; i don't think it worked.
so i just came back up and i mention to original that he said hello, to which original replied: 'awww, he's so happy.' like i couldn't make him happy and he finally found it somewhere else. and what about my happiness? i'm not happy now.
at least i'm not buffy.
right now, talking about guys is senseless talk; i can't be in the same room when it's going on. relationships, dating and everything lumped inbetween, and i are like oil and water: we do not mix at all. that's why it's easy for me to say that i won't get married or give birth to a child; i have never been on a date and B. just ruined all my delusions about it. which only goes back to the question that i will be forever asking: why do you need a siginificant other to happy? i have to find a plan of escape for valentine's day; icannot refuse to be on this campus.
i refuse to be seen this semester, but i don't know how i'm going to do that either. people and i are not mixing so well right now; i'm spending more and more of my time by myself. anyways, my train of thought has been taken away, so i'll be back later. peace.
the last person that i wanted to see before the semester started; i ran into bbq, first when i was taking a lunch break and then in the weight room in the gym. geez, i swear God is just chuckling up there because all day, all i could think about was how many things bbq and i used to do... alot; lunch, study, hang out. blah. conversation wasn't all that stimulating; he kept on avoiding mentioning his girlfriend (which i could tell, was why he was so happy) which he must of spent his time with during the holidays. blah. i felt embarrased though that i didn't invite him to the new year's party (cos i could of, but i chickened out) because he found out about it. i made the excuse that it was last minute and how it was all jam's idea. blah; i don't think it worked.
so i just came back up and i mention to original that he said hello, to which original replied: 'awww, he's so happy.' like i couldn't make him happy and he finally found it somewhere else. and what about my happiness? i'm not happy now.
at least i'm not buffy.
right now, talking about guys is senseless talk; i can't be in the same room when it's going on. relationships, dating and everything lumped inbetween, and i are like oil and water: we do not mix at all. that's why it's easy for me to say that i won't get married or give birth to a child; i have never been on a date and B. just ruined all my delusions about it. which only goes back to the question that i will be forever asking: why do you need a siginificant other to happy? i have to find a plan of escape for valentine's day; i
i refuse to be seen this semester, but i don't know how i'm going to do that either. people and i are not mixing so well right now; i'm spending more and more of my time by myself. anyways, my train of thought has been taken away, so i'll be back later. peace.
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