aiiieee! on friday, i redesigned equilibrium. click on the link and take a look see.

i'm still on cloud nine despite all the drama. know that.

KANSAS... GO HOME YOU DEJECTED LOSERS... YOU CAN'T WIN AGAINST THE BEST! MARYLAND IS GONNA TAKE IT ALL BABY! TAKE IT ALL!

maryland was seriously trying to give me a heart attack for real, just starting at the beginning and they started making serious errors late in the second half. i had to walk away for a minute for them to get it together... and they did and they WON! i can go to sleep a bery happy woman (yes.. BERY).

anyways, that is all. just chillin' and watching adult swim on cartoon network. peace.

last night, dad gave me a lecture. i call them lectures because that's what they are: he talks and i supposedly sit and listen. when i do try to say something, he cuts me off anyways. so this lecture was about how i've been jumping from internship to internship (NIH and GSK) and how i should settle down on an internship and turn it into a job. i mean, it's not like i don't know this stuff already. [scientific talk] but now i have experience in the government and industry fields; i would get some academic experience but umbc doesn't have the areas that i'm interested in. maybe i'll go into the private field this summer, i don't know. [/scientific talk].
i don't know; for some reason last night, i realized how powerful my dad is. he makes alot of money and still works with the company that he works with because he holds and manages millions and millions of dollars. i don't know; it's kind of weird. dad thinks he's been through it all and i guess if you came from rural kenya to this country with less than a penny in your pocket only relying on your intelligence to make it to where he is today... yeah. maybe. i cannot convey to him the difficulty of umbc, my classes, grades, trying to get into grad school, getting an internship. he's always had it worse.
so after the lecture, he mumbles something about 'credit card bill' (you know the one that he 'forgot' to pay before he left for kenya) and it's great, becuase i know i put the stupid thing on my desk and now it's missing. sike-a-boo.

despite my family's quirks, i still love them. out of all spring break, this last day is the day that i'm actually taking a break. i finished my orgo labs late last night and i'm finished with organic and most of physics. need to update the resume, post it and prepare it for the job fair on wednesday when i come back.

ooolgaboogla. peace.

oooh. my head hurts. i was getting ice earlier this morning and then i just slipped on it as i was running to put fabric softner in the rinse cycle. somehow, i have broken the monotony.

it was raining last night.. like a thunderstorm. i couldn't believe it; it's been so long since i've seen lighting and thunder and rain all at the same time.

so i'm washing clothes, bout to go study some more and hope that friends call me to go out (i've called and all i've gotten is voicemail). i want to go down to DC for the cherry blossoms sometime this week or maybe just next weekend (like i have the time just lying around).

i apologize for these short entries; they have been short lately. nothing every really goes on at home (news flash: mom wants to get rid of cable.. NOOOOO!).

the first day of spring break. very uneventful; woke up late, studying, cooking and cleaning and taking tim to karate. the joy. maybe i should of gone to las vegas; could of run into ger and ditched everyone else. blah, but i'm not.

other things on my mind but now is not the time.

maryland was trying to give me a heart attack, i swear, that game was so close. but it's all good cos they're in the final four; i know they're going to win the whole thing. they better win the whole thing.

anyways, i actually have stuff to do other than lazing around and watching tv and surfing the internet all day. peace.

i can't believe that i missed duke getting eliminated... man! it's all good though...

MARYLAND ALL THE WAY!! ALL THE WAY!!

i'm in the library chilling before i go to the gym. forgive this keyboard for it does not know that it's comma key sticks.

anyways there are just some wild stuff going on; i'm talking about some messed up stuff. stuff that just makes me want to puke. i had a conversation with one of my friends yesterday about this situation that i have with JK. i ended up really frustrated and screaming on the phone and even hanging up (i'm trying to think of ways of not using the comma key...). when he (my friend) called back i told him: i'm not mad at you. i'm just mad in general. i really don't want to get into what he (JK) did cos it's only going to make me frustrated all over again. as of right now i told my friend that i don't care anymore and i have better things to worry about. this is not the first time that i have lost a friend.

mom called me mad yesterday because i forgot that fasfa forms were due on march 1st. there was so much stuff going on at the time that was one of the last things on my mind. that will be one of the many things that i'll be doing this spring break.
and finally it's a nice day outside; 60 degrees. now you can break out those shorts.

i think i'm going to switch computers or something cos this comma thing is mad annoying. how can anyone type like this?

peace.

finally. i just took my orgo lab midterm; it was ok.

today has just been a dreary day. i didn't want to get out of bed this morning; the rain just pouring made me so sleepy. rain for some reason takes me back to places. mentally and involuntarily. i've kind of been in my mind most of the day; about lots of people, things and situations. things only left for a rainy day.

blah. anyways, i guess i'll go and roam around before class. peace-y-os. mmmmm. peace-y-os....

things are getting better, especially with a specific problem that i've been having. it's not solved, but it's getting better.

i don't like the way equilibrium looks anymore and the creative bug is bitting me hard; i feel a redesign coming up this spring break. i don't know about D.O.G; my lack of blogger skills leaves me hindered. other than that, this spring break will be left for catch up in organic and physics and the neverending search for some internship/job. oh. the joy. i feel. right now.

and i just realized that taxes are coming up; i usually just pass them off to mom to work on them, but i think she's been busy with schoolwork. i don't know how to do taxes! (i know it's sad...) i might work on those on spring break too.

ok. organic labs are done and i must prepare for the day now. peace.

alot of people have been asking me if i'm ok. i am. i'm not that tired and i'm not really depressed. it's just the energy that i had a couple of weeks ago i just don't have right now (i.e. 'high on life'). my battery's just half charged right now. i don't know yet if that's a good thing or bad thing.

i finished my paper. the good thing is that she's not grading so much on the content (thank god, cos you know that sucked!) and my presentation will just blow them away, so i'm not so worried about it. everybody seems to be having midterms now... the only real 'midterm' that i have coming up is for organic lab. i'm not worried about it, but i have a feeling that i should. it's only 30 minutes (out of an hour class) and this particular prof. has a problem with lengthing (is that a word?) test; his tests usually take 2-3 hours instead of one. blah.

other stuff that i don't feel like talking about right now. what's wrong? just stuff. it's always just stuff.

ugh. i need to be recharged. goodnight. (nothing like don't-have-anything-to-do-just-chill-in-the-morning-cos-you-got-a-late-morning-class-and-nothing-due-tomorrow sleep).

i was reading the UMBC forum posts and one chain was talking about minority scholarships. one post said that basically minorities get scholarships because they're black. well.... really?! where? here?

all joking aside. i am a minority (according to the US census, last time i checked). i do not get any scholarships. i do not get any aid towards my education because i am a black female. i wish it were that easy. i'm not trying to be too profound here, but i do want to make a point. as a minority female in the type of field that i'm going into (geez, just look to the right), there are still some hardships to go through. i guess it seems unbelieveable (unless it's actually happened to you), but there is a purpose to affirmative action and etc. the playing field is not level. and i know you're thinking: please. you're just saying that because you're benefiting. but i was one of the people that thought that the playing field was equal (until i was rudely awakened by one of the white UMBC professors).
i'm sorry to have to remind some of you (not all of you) that there is still racisim in this country. it might not be you, but it sure is somebody else.

blah. enough of that. i'm tired and my paper is still not done, but i sleep anyways.

gosh-diddly-dang-it! i lost my post!

well, i'm going home today; taking timon to the doctor's. anything to get off this Godforsaken campus..
trying to get my butt in gear with everything; got my orgo exam back. 30%. i want to jump off the library now.

more and less. less and more. organic lab awaits me. peace.

so on thursday night/ early friday morning, after finishing physics homework, OG, DN, DN's friend's KP and Ti decided to go the harbor. at one in the morning. just for kicks.

since OG was driving, we got gas first, kicked KP out the car and started driving... well, first of all imagine three 6' and above guys and OG and i crammed in a 2002 corolla.... yeah... and i was in the middle of the back seat... so anyways, i kick KP out the car cos he's hella annoying and then OG drives away and we laugh as he runs to catch us. OG backs up in the middle of the street, picks him up and then we realize that the cop was watching us all along. that was only one of the many near-brushes that we had with baltimore county/city police.
we finally got downtown and there were so many inside jokes, i can't even begin to mention them all. in a nutshell: we almost went down the wrong way on a one-way street, tried to throw KP in the harbor, KP almost throws OG in the harbor (but the burning eyes of the cop on patrol stops him), Ti and DN almost get run over when jaywalking, we quickly run away from the world trade center (in baltimore) fearing for our lives, met some people from UMBC coming back from the clubs, and ran a red light (that was all you OG gurl...) and almost hit the median curb (and almost get stopped by the cops yet once AGAIN; officer: are you high? me: yes sir. i'm high on LIFE!).

it was fun. it was great. and i will defintely do it again. life is good.

waiting for clothes to dry so i can go back to school and maybe read some physics or something.

this morning, i finished the coldest winter ever, that i started on friday, balanced my finances and found out that dad somehow 'forgot' to pay my credit card bill before he left. i'm kinda heated about that because he said 'ok' like it was no problem and now i have an extra $240 that i have to worry about stalling until he gets back.

i also need to talk to the roommates; the apartment is absolutely nasty. i know i'm a neat freak; the apt doesn't have to smell like lysol everytime i walk in, but could we please pick up the food rotting on the floor. and don't even get me started about the bathroom... it's like last year all over again...

anyways, i have no money. i'm quitting my job at the bookstore cos i just can't study and work there at the same time. that only leaves me with $60/ 2 wks. which somehow i have to use for pocket money, my cell phone bill and to save for summer school. ugh. i don't have any internships or jobs lined up for summer yet; i'm kinda being lazy but not caring all at the same time. same with the gre's and everything graduate school related. i don't know. blah. too much to think about and too much to do.

i must go do something productive.

this is why i don't drive.

last night, for my african dance class, we were supposed to go (as a class) to this store about 20 minutes away from campus to go buy some fabric. my friend N and i left campus around 6.30. the directions looked simple enough (which i should of taken as a sign; it's never that simple). the first time, we missed the turn and ended up in downtown baltimore. took 95 back to UMBC and tried again, this time, making the turn. got our fabric and left. took 83 to 695, not realizing that now we were on the other side of town, near towson and morgan (and goucher college even). all we could do was laugh. got back on 95 and ended up taking the tunnel (which gives me a bad case of veritigo; i especially hated driving home from philly).

some adventure we had, which only seems to remind me of the time that OG and i got lost in DC or when i got lost in downtown philadelphia this past summer, looking for a church. i should go to seatlle or chicago and get myself lost. make it a world record or something.

anyways, i'm in the library and i'm in here for a reason. i have some physics homework due tomorrow that i haven't touched yet, so it's off to work i go.

(the warm weather is messing up my sinuses)

(oh. and i didn't get a ticket the other day. the parking gods had pity on me)

last night, i was talking to myself before i went to sleep. laughing and remembering things. people just don't seem to understand how fucked up i could of been. i mean, really with all the stuff that happened to me since i was born and throughout childhood. but you know what? life is damned good.

and i that is what i remembered and realized right before i went to sleep.

damn it! i forgot my UMBC parking pass at home; i'm going to get another ticket. sike-a-boo.

little did i know that when i said 'let's just hope it lasts', that it wouldn't. little did i know that i would be sick with the flu or some strange illness that would mess up my entire body causing me not to get any work done, thus failing the orgo chem exam on friday and then finding out that for the whole entire week, i was taking the wrong medication. yes. the wrong medication. i figured it out on saturday (cold/flu not sinus/allergy) and now i'm much better.

yesterday was ok. cleaned the house top to bottom (cause the parents are coming back this tuesday) and went out and finally bought my MP3 player (the dude was so excited, he almost fell over himself getting it out of the case). i've been waiting since before christmas to buy this sucker and finally i have it, so i'm excited.

can you believe this? i have $55 in parking tickets... that i got from UMBC. i'm so mad that i have to pay these people tutition too. i keep on forgetting to go to the cashier (it was originally $40), but i need to go today before dad finds out that they tagged his registration @ the DMV; oops.

anyways, other than the rents coming back tuesday (so i can finally be a college student again!), this week is going to be pretty slow; i'm going to sit back and enjoy it.