soundtrack: oasis: live forever
i've been feeling down for the past couple of days; i didn't want to write about it. i don't know if i still want to write about it.
today would of been a good day today. tuesday, nic called me and invited me to lunch with her and the boy today, before he finished up at umbc. even though i was (am) broke and my car is too, i went. it was good; really good. for the first time in days, my pressed pensive lips opened to smiles and laughs as we talked about our summers and the professors and classes will never have to experience ever again. after much debate of where to eat ("i eat meat!" the boy declares), we ended at applebe.e's (the veggie burger was good). we talked and laughed some more; i didn't know laughing could be so renewing, so refreshing. when we got back to campus, we were hesitant to say goodbye, still making chatter next to nic's idling car. after hugs and promises to do one more outing (including D and mg) before D and the boy leave for graduate school.
i drove back home smiling, laughing, humming. 'what a great day,' i said to myself. i got home... i didn't even have to cook today! i was thinking about blogging about how fabuolus today was. and then, and then. and then.
it is now that i have grown tired of trying to defend myself, to explain myself anymore. she always mixes it up, always gets it wrong. she puts me down with this smug look on her face. she's my mother, not a friend i can cut off. she likes to make me feel low and then act like nothing ever happened.
my high is gone now and my pressed lips of melancholy are back along with something new. i'm tired of all this crap. that's exactly what it is, crap. i'm praying and i'm trying to understand, but it seems that she doesn't want to hear or understand. *sigh* trivality for unconditional love.
anyways, i'm seeing a busy weekend this weekend, full of rehersals and other things, but mainly rehersals. LS is coming back this monday; from the sound of his last email, he's disappointed that i can't make it... i shouldn't of taken so long with the reply. naj is coming into town the first weekend in august and she's trying to contact anybody still in the area. my hair is in fro mode and it's clean; will be in braid mode tomorrow. blah, blah, blah. the screen is hurting my eyes, so i'm out. good weekends everyone.
peace.
i've been feeling down for the past couple of days; i didn't want to write about it. i don't know if i still want to write about it.
today would of been a good day today. tuesday, nic called me and invited me to lunch with her and the boy today, before he finished up at umbc. even though i was (am) broke and my car is too, i went. it was good; really good. for the first time in days, my pressed pensive lips opened to smiles and laughs as we talked about our summers and the professors and classes will never have to experience ever again. after much debate of where to eat ("i eat meat!" the boy declares), we ended at applebe.e's (the veggie burger was good). we talked and laughed some more; i didn't know laughing could be so renewing, so refreshing. when we got back to campus, we were hesitant to say goodbye, still making chatter next to nic's idling car. after hugs and promises to do one more outing (including D and mg) before D and the boy leave for graduate school.
i drove back home smiling, laughing, humming. 'what a great day,' i said to myself. i got home... i didn't even have to cook today! i was thinking about blogging about how fabuolus today was. and then, and then. and then.
it is now that i have grown tired of trying to defend myself, to explain myself anymore. she always mixes it up, always gets it wrong. she puts me down with this smug look on her face. she's my mother, not a friend i can cut off. she likes to make me feel low and then act like nothing ever happened.
my high is gone now and my pressed lips of melancholy are back along with something new. i'm tired of all this crap. that's exactly what it is, crap. i'm praying and i'm trying to understand, but it seems that she doesn't want to hear or understand. *sigh* trivality for unconditional love.
anyways, i'm seeing a busy weekend this weekend, full of rehersals and other things, but mainly rehersals. LS is coming back this monday; from the sound of his last email, he's disappointed that i can't make it... i shouldn't of taken so long with the reply. naj is coming into town the first weekend in august and she's trying to contact anybody still in the area. my hair is in fro mode and it's clean; will be in braid mode tomorrow. blah, blah, blah. the screen is hurting my eyes, so i'm out. good weekends everyone.
peace.
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