soundtrack: carole king: way over yonder / nina simone: i don't want him
the past two days have been like... wow. i don't think that's it's really hit me yet that i'm done and i'm not going back to umbc. hopefully. i only got back one of my grades today, for e. genetics... an A baby! whoo!
after dinner the other day, nic and i walked the boys outside. this always happens, if we walk back from the library from studying: we stand outside and heckle each other, chase each other around and poke and tickle. that night was just the same. after about an hour of this and trying to throw each other in the grass, the boy requested a group hug. nic and i thought this odd since the boy rarely gives hugs in the first place. finally, we realized there was no joke or trick behind it and we came together, our hands intertwined and our heads in a huddle. "friends forever?" D asked. i looked up at the night sky filled with stars and then to him, "friends forever." aww, i love my boys and nic... words can't express. we family.
yesterday, i started out early simply because graduates had to come early to line up in alphabetical order. after missing being hit by a tractor trailer and hitting a car as i parked in the slim parking spaces classic of downtown baltimore, i was finally there. i was one of the first people to arrive out of biochem and molecular bio. the group graduating with that major was small (like 20-25) compared to ifsm and biological sciences. after what seemed like hours of standing around, nic and the boys finally showed up. looking at D's chest covered in cords and medalions, i realized i had forgotten my own medailion for the scholars program that i was in, at home. i always forget something. instead of getting in abc order according to major and last name, everybody was milling around. with an occasional scream, you would see people grab each other like they would never see them alive ever again. bbq walked over and engulfed me in a hug. "we did it chi," he grabbed me tightly. i hugged just as tight. i know he's leaving soon, to graduate school in ny.
i'm still desperately trying to phonetically spell my middle and last name; i know they're still going to mispronounce it, when M finally arrives. nic and the boy are sort of distant, but D gives her a hug anyway. she's been distancing herself away from us lately. i don't know if it's because she moving to the other coast or for other reasons. anyway, she brought that upon herself. i hugged old friends, congratulated classmates that i met this semester and met new people graduating with their bs in biochemistry.
finally, we lined up and walked out to an arena full of family, friends and well-wishers. we sat and the platform staff talked. everybody was on a cell phone, calling to see where family was. my reception was bad, but my family found me anyway. finally, it was time; presentation of candidates and confering of degrees. we were one of the first majors on stage. i noticed a guy running as our major was called. i looked closely and it was mg. i laughed, he was always late for everything. we lined up to wait to be called. it wasn't a surreal feeling like everybody said it would be; it felt like it should have happened all along. i watched nic and D and the boy cross the stage and shake dr. h's hand. soon, i was crossing the stage and shaking his hand. he grabbed my arm as he shook and said, "good luck to your future, young woman." (he remembered who i was, but couldn't remember my name) "thank you sir," i replied with a smile. i walked down from the stage to my prof for biochem lab, who surprisingly gave me a hug. i say surprisingly because i know alot of my professors never truely had any faith that i could complete this degree (including my advisor, who 'surprisingly' did not show up to commencement), but her hug really meant alot to me. as we sat and waited for the reading of the other 500+ names, we joked around, pointed to ourselves on the screen and cheered for our friends. it was a good time.
after we got backstage, it was crazy. everybody was everywhere. i hugged more people (including mg who had the audacity to pick me up... you's a bad man...) and hung around with nic and the boys until things cleared up. mom, dad and al already left to take al back for his graduation in a couple hours. after D finished saying goodbye to what seemed like the whole university, we headed to the lobby. i looked and had to take a double take. wbz. and where he was, i knew that JK was close behind. we hugged and talked for a bit; he was graduating, but wasn't going to graduation that evening, but rather the smaller school of engineering one tomorrow morning. i was going to go to JK and say hi, but it was just then when i saw Ti in a corner. i walked over and we laughed and hugged. "i'm gonna miss you girl," he wailed. it was hilarious. by the time i walked back over to wbz, JK had dipped outside. i went in search for him and right before i could say hello, i was mobbed my cousin along with OG. and then, waltzing over, was dee. my gosh. dee, who i haven't seen in two years. i was crazy histerical, shouting that somebody take my picture with this girl before she disappeared again, shoving my cell phone in her hands to put in her new number. finally, i walked over to JK, rubbing his back to catch his attention. "hi," he hugged me as if he ought to and not like he wanted to. our convo was short and clipped. 'ok. he wants to be like this,' i told myself. it was late and i had to drive back to college park for al's general graduation ceremony.
i got to college park and the rest of the fam was still at home, retriving tickets and timon, who just came back from school. i sat outside the comcast center and waited in the cold. one of the graduates came up to me and started talking to me. at first, i thought he was just hitting on me, but the way he talked to me... it was as if he knew me. even though i didn't remember who he was, i talked with the ease as if he was an old friend. "you here for al's graduation?" he asked me. i nodded. "man, i've been here way too long!" i laughed. we talked a little bit more; he asked me where i was going to school and what i was going to do after. as i watched him walk away, i remembered who he was... from high school. despite everything i've done to change my appearace, i still look the same.
compared to umbc commencement, the umcp ceremony was absolutely crazy. they were throwing streamers and beach balls; even the faculty was joining in the fun. after, i commented to al, "man, you're commencement was crazy." he turned to me and said, "no chi, umcp is crazy in general." by the time the ceremony ended, it was late. we ordered chinese food and ate at home. not really what my mom wanted, but it takes very little to please al, timon and i.
this morning was al's engineering ceremony. i was excited because not only was i going to see al graduate, but wbz and BK, my boys who transferred to cp at the end of our sophmore year. i guess because it was concentrated on engineering, the ceremony was somewhat serious from introduction to commencement speech... it was all about engineering. beach balls were still thrown and so were paper airplanes (by the aerospace engineer graduates...haha). after the ceremony, i excused myself from the parents and al and walked over to BK. i haven't seen this man in three years. he couldn't believe it was me. we hugged and talked. "you look good," he said. i was taken aback by the comment, but i didn't know why. "oh," i said. "well... what i mean..." he stumbled over his words. his mom walked over and saved him from having to explain himself. remembering the conversations we used to have late at night and by phone when he transferred, i realized what a handsome, dynamic and passionate man he still was. "JK's here too," he mentioned. "i know," i said, looking over to see him walking toward us, "but i should go. my family's waiting." and with that, i jumped up the stairs of cole field house.
and now? the parents have left for some retreat thing up in pa and i'm getting ready for jam, mac n' cheese and original's graduation party. i wasn't trying to drive up there since i'm leaving al and timon without a car, but i made a bet with myself that i wouldn't ask bbq for a ride since crispy thought it was rather 'convient' that bbq lives near me. you see crispy, i don't need to ask him anything. i'm really feeling like backing out and not going because that's what i usually do (and don't ask me why, i just do), but this may be the last time i see these people in a long while, so i'm going. parties tomorrow also. more drama. gah!
peace.
the past two days have been like... wow. i don't think that's it's really hit me yet that i'm done and i'm not going back to umbc. hopefully. i only got back one of my grades today, for e. genetics... an A baby! whoo!
after dinner the other day, nic and i walked the boys outside. this always happens, if we walk back from the library from studying: we stand outside and heckle each other, chase each other around and poke and tickle. that night was just the same. after about an hour of this and trying to throw each other in the grass, the boy requested a group hug. nic and i thought this odd since the boy rarely gives hugs in the first place. finally, we realized there was no joke or trick behind it and we came together, our hands intertwined and our heads in a huddle. "friends forever?" D asked. i looked up at the night sky filled with stars and then to him, "friends forever." aww, i love my boys and nic... words can't express. we family.
yesterday, i started out early simply because graduates had to come early to line up in alphabetical order. after missing being hit by a tractor trailer and hitting a car as i parked in the slim parking spaces classic of downtown baltimore, i was finally there. i was one of the first people to arrive out of biochem and molecular bio. the group graduating with that major was small (like 20-25) compared to ifsm and biological sciences. after what seemed like hours of standing around, nic and the boys finally showed up. looking at D's chest covered in cords and medalions, i realized i had forgotten my own medailion for the scholars program that i was in, at home. i always forget something. instead of getting in abc order according to major and last name, everybody was milling around. with an occasional scream, you would see people grab each other like they would never see them alive ever again. bbq walked over and engulfed me in a hug. "we did it chi," he grabbed me tightly. i hugged just as tight. i know he's leaving soon, to graduate school in ny.
i'm still desperately trying to phonetically spell my middle and last name; i know they're still going to mispronounce it, when M finally arrives. nic and the boy are sort of distant, but D gives her a hug anyway. she's been distancing herself away from us lately. i don't know if it's because she moving to the other coast or for other reasons. anyway, she brought that upon herself. i hugged old friends, congratulated classmates that i met this semester and met new people graduating with their bs in biochemistry.
finally, we lined up and walked out to an arena full of family, friends and well-wishers. we sat and the platform staff talked. everybody was on a cell phone, calling to see where family was. my reception was bad, but my family found me anyway. finally, it was time; presentation of candidates and confering of degrees. we were one of the first majors on stage. i noticed a guy running as our major was called. i looked closely and it was mg. i laughed, he was always late for everything. we lined up to wait to be called. it wasn't a surreal feeling like everybody said it would be; it felt like it should have happened all along. i watched nic and D and the boy cross the stage and shake dr. h's hand. soon, i was crossing the stage and shaking his hand. he grabbed my arm as he shook and said, "good luck to your future, young woman." (he remembered who i was, but couldn't remember my name) "thank you sir," i replied with a smile. i walked down from the stage to my prof for biochem lab, who surprisingly gave me a hug. i say surprisingly because i know alot of my professors never truely had any faith that i could complete this degree (including my advisor, who 'surprisingly' did not show up to commencement), but her hug really meant alot to me. as we sat and waited for the reading of the other 500+ names, we joked around, pointed to ourselves on the screen and cheered for our friends. it was a good time.
after we got backstage, it was crazy. everybody was everywhere. i hugged more people (including mg who had the audacity to pick me up... you's a bad man...) and hung around with nic and the boys until things cleared up. mom, dad and al already left to take al back for his graduation in a couple hours. after D finished saying goodbye to what seemed like the whole university, we headed to the lobby. i looked and had to take a double take. wbz. and where he was, i knew that JK was close behind. we hugged and talked for a bit; he was graduating, but wasn't going to graduation that evening, but rather the smaller school of engineering one tomorrow morning. i was going to go to JK and say hi, but it was just then when i saw Ti in a corner. i walked over and we laughed and hugged. "i'm gonna miss you girl," he wailed. it was hilarious. by the time i walked back over to wbz, JK had dipped outside. i went in search for him and right before i could say hello, i was mobbed my cousin along with OG. and then, waltzing over, was dee. my gosh. dee, who i haven't seen in two years. i was crazy histerical, shouting that somebody take my picture with this girl before she disappeared again, shoving my cell phone in her hands to put in her new number. finally, i walked over to JK, rubbing his back to catch his attention. "hi," he hugged me as if he ought to and not like he wanted to. our convo was short and clipped. 'ok. he wants to be like this,' i told myself. it was late and i had to drive back to college park for al's general graduation ceremony.
i got to college park and the rest of the fam was still at home, retriving tickets and timon, who just came back from school. i sat outside the comcast center and waited in the cold. one of the graduates came up to me and started talking to me. at first, i thought he was just hitting on me, but the way he talked to me... it was as if he knew me. even though i didn't remember who he was, i talked with the ease as if he was an old friend. "you here for al's graduation?" he asked me. i nodded. "man, i've been here way too long!" i laughed. we talked a little bit more; he asked me where i was going to school and what i was going to do after. as i watched him walk away, i remembered who he was... from high school. despite everything i've done to change my appearace, i still look the same.
compared to umbc commencement, the umcp ceremony was absolutely crazy. they were throwing streamers and beach balls; even the faculty was joining in the fun. after, i commented to al, "man, you're commencement was crazy." he turned to me and said, "no chi, umcp is crazy in general." by the time the ceremony ended, it was late. we ordered chinese food and ate at home. not really what my mom wanted, but it takes very little to please al, timon and i.
this morning was al's engineering ceremony. i was excited because not only was i going to see al graduate, but wbz and BK, my boys who transferred to cp at the end of our sophmore year. i guess because it was concentrated on engineering, the ceremony was somewhat serious from introduction to commencement speech... it was all about engineering. beach balls were still thrown and so were paper airplanes (by the aerospace engineer graduates...haha). after the ceremony, i excused myself from the parents and al and walked over to BK. i haven't seen this man in three years. he couldn't believe it was me. we hugged and talked. "you look good," he said. i was taken aback by the comment, but i didn't know why. "oh," i said. "well... what i mean..." he stumbled over his words. his mom walked over and saved him from having to explain himself. remembering the conversations we used to have late at night and by phone when he transferred, i realized what a handsome, dynamic and passionate man he still was. "JK's here too," he mentioned. "i know," i said, looking over to see him walking toward us, "but i should go. my family's waiting." and with that, i jumped up the stairs of cole field house.
and now? the parents have left for some retreat thing up in pa and i'm getting ready for jam, mac n' cheese and original's graduation party. i wasn't trying to drive up there since i'm leaving al and timon without a car, but i made a bet with myself that i wouldn't ask bbq for a ride since crispy thought it was rather 'convient' that bbq lives near me. you see crispy, i don't need to ask him anything. i'm really feeling like backing out and not going because that's what i usually do (and don't ask me why, i just do), but this may be the last time i see these people in a long while, so i'm going. parties tomorrow also. more drama. gah!
peace.
