soundtrak: rae and christian ft. tania maria: vai viver a vida

i really wish i didn't go to work today. i was trying to figure out why my experiment busted the other day and it seems like i was getting nowhere. my lower back was killing me and i was just not in the mood. we ended up having an impromptu lab meeting, to which K attended, to which i was surprised because i wish he would just leave already. after lab meeting, walking out, he patted me on the head in greeting...patted me on the head?! what am i, a kid?! geez.
i spent the rest of the early afternoon in a cloud of calculation, trial and error. just about when i made my last error (or the last one i could take), i put my head down on my desk, my brain swirling, my back aching. i wanted to cry. i wanted to go home. 'what am i doing here?' i kept on asking myself. i looked up and the boss and postdoc were rolling out. "are you going to go home?" the boss asked me. just one more problem, one more calculation... the postdoc smiled at me and told me to go home. it's good; we're on better terms now.

leaving work early, i went go get gas and vacuum out my car (because it was a disgrace that i could no longer deal with). while bending over to get to the back seat, i hit my forehead on the car frame. i have a rather large bump and it's rather painful. i can imagine what people are going to say: 'chi, you have a unusually large head, but it seems unusually larger somehow...' thanks. i keep on forgetting about it and wince in pain everytime i run my hand over my face.
ran some other errands, renewed and checked out books at the p. library... i'm grateful for this opportunity i have to read all the books i want for free... i've missed it.

anyway. i was supposed to go out tonight, but the boy was too lazy (bitter... whatever you wanna call it) to drive out today. they want to do something friday night, but that's out for me. nic has a gathering on saturday and is trying to get out of that. i'm just trying to make D feel guilty for not trying hard enough to convince the boy. CB called me today and wants to hang out with naj and i. when i'm going to have the time? when have i ever been in such a situation?

so i'm trying to relax today. read, write, watch law and order, conan. relax. happy thanksgiving.

peace.

soundtrak: trüby trio: dj kicks (the album)

i had this whole nice entry typed up last night and then my computer decided to make it dissapear. *sigh* can't help these things, i suppose. i know you're probably wondering what i was doing on the computer last night... i was taking those beginning anxious steps to completing my grad school apps. God must be looking down on me cos all my deadlines are not in december, but mid january to early february. so i still have time and i'm going to make the best of what i got. if i finish by the end of december/beginning of january, i'm good. and then i can visit people. keep hope alive!

so why does it feel like the whole continent of africa is coming over my house for thanksgiving... ok, i'm exaggerating just a bit... the whole country of kenya then. and the sad thing is that not one of these people were invited by any of us, for you see, they have invited themselves. uncles that i don't know, guests staying for the whole weekend... and then dad is leaving for various points in africa to do only God knows... on friday... FRIDAY! something wrong is going on here...
but alas, there is some sort of relief or r&r for me this weekend. D and the boy are back in town for the holiday; hopefully the boys, nic and i can meet up tomorrow (if we can convince the boy that traffic is everywhere and it cannot be avoided). naj is also going to be in the great state of maryland, so something will definetly be done this weekend.

also this weekend, i'm singing and i have youth program that i have known about months in advance and i still have yet to plan for... do you notice the procrastination trend... anyway. it's on thanksgiving and praise (yes really...) and i'm working on it.

edit: yeah, i thought i wasn't going to go into work tomorrow, but my experiment busted today... *le deep sigh* so it's off to work i go...

anyway. so much stuff to talk about, too lazy to think about it. but i might go into said deeper topics on etcetera... *shameless plug! shameless plug! shameless plug!* i'll only stop when you guys visit... think about that... i'll update it tonight.. i promise.

peace.

last edit: happy thanksgiving everyone! (yo, how could i forget...)

soundtrack: rae and christian ft. pharacyde: it ain't nothin' like...

i know it's been awhile since i've written anything of substance here. work really leaves me wiped out. i don't have time to do my grad school applications, to write emails back to friends, to call friends back, to go to the gym.
but all my work hasn't gone in vain; this friday, after four months, i finally got my last mutant strain. now the fun begins.

with the joy i had from discovering that i finally had my mutant, i didn't realize that it was K's last day. i went to his lab to ask somebody else a question and he was there, on the phone, watching me as i got the information i needed. it's a very odd situation between K and i. he's gone anyway.

in the way of keeping contact with people, i found out that a lot of my friends from high school are back at home with the parents, finishing school or trying to find a decent job. everybody is returning back to the area. especially CB, who i think was the one that taught naj and i to be as cynical as we both are today. she's a unique individual; there is truly nobody out there like her. she cannot be replaced.

hmm. i don't know what else to say. there is more to talk about but i don't feel like broaching those subjects right now. my brain is already overworked as it is. look for simple writing at etcetera (yes, i'm plugging myself; go there... right now...).


peace.

soundtrack: oasis: talk tonight

seven things that happened during my hiatus that i'm too tired/lazy to recap in detail:

1. after two months, the fellow next door to me finally made conversation; call him K
2. all he talks about is graduate school... he's a doctoral candidate @ HU; other than that, he's a mystery... i don't know anything else about him...
3. after 5 months, bbq calls me...
4. he wants me to visit him in NYC... hmm
5. JK and i actually had a meaningful conversation; we have more in common than just a bs degree in biochemistry
6. one evening, after several months and letting go of hard feelings, nea's brother, Y and i, talked for the first time in a long time...
7. i found out that ash is in the mid west doing who-knows-what; we haven't talked to each other yet...

so what can i say about all that... i was amazed that it could all happen in the course of a month. i would be more retrospective, but it's late and this week is gonna be hell, so i'm gonna need all the sleep i can get.

peace.

soundtrack: badly drawn boy: once around the block/ jazzanova: wasted time

i don't know if it's just because i'm lazy or i truly just don't have enough time to do the things that i need to do anymore. i need to do my laundry, balance my checkbook (i haven't balanced it all month... i'm so much better than this...), determine what i'm going to do for the next six years of my life. *sigh* it seems that i don't even have enough time to think anymore.

so right after i wrote my last entry, my experiments actually started to work. so i'm not incompetent after all. now that i actually have data, i dread the day when i'll actually have to present it to people with more knowledge on the subject than i do at this current time. i need to bust out; i have to use the loud side of myself to my advantage. easier said than done.

so much has happened this past month. i don't know if i can recap it all. there's so much on my mind right now; it's like i can't keep my thoughts together, can't keep them still enough to record them. soon, i hope. soon.

peace.