soundtrak: gilles peterson: the truth

things have been strange as of late. work, relationships, just me. i don't know how to explain it. it's almost like an out of body experience; i'm watching all this stuff go on and i (feel like i) can't do anything to change it.

it seems that K is in for the long run. i don't know what made him decide to change his mind and *stay*, but now i have to deal with it. (i.e. random conversation about 'the boob' ... you know who's boob i'm talking about...). hopefully i'll be leaving after one year.
i don't know if i would continue as a graduate student in the lab. it would be a good idea considering that my project is crap right now. i keep on running into problems which is keeping everything at a standstill. right now, it seems there is some sort of infection with my strains, so i have to figure out what all that's about before i continue. it's frustrating.

i'm also waiting to hear from grad schools; just one interview... all i need is one.

somedays, i just don't care anymore. i don't care if the things i hope for never happen. i don't care that my car is crap. i don't care that i'm trying to be better. it's more than apathy, more than laziness. not contemplatency. not selfishness. i don't feel bad about it. i don't feel ecstatic. i don't feel anything; i feel numb. somedays, it's like that.

peace.