soundtrak: coldplay: shiver
it's too much to go into what happened the rest of this week. i'll go into it later.
anyways, today we (as in Mic, crispy, T, JK and i) went to the cherry blossom festival today. kind of a mini-birthday celebration for Mic, who's birthday was yesterday.
the blossoms are blooming, but not in full bloom yet. everybody was running a little late, so we just caught the last of the performances of the day.
it was the first time i saw T since pentagon city, so i was finally able to give him his birthday present. short stories by langston hughes. he loved it more than i thought he would. by six, we were looking for a place to eat. we decided to go to uno's at union station.
dinner was filled with lots of laughter and reminicing about times at umbc. for T, it seemed more like lamenting. i didn't know the real reason why he left umbc until tonight. but i had to give him some credit; he's a determined man as well as a diligent student. he shouldn't have regrets about the time he spent there. i know i don't.
all in all, it was a great outing.
back to bbq. he was going to come out with us today, but he ended up with prior obligations. i realize now that we do need to talk about what happened last week. i realize that i have an anxiety problem that is now starting to get worse. i also realize that we have not really talked openly about our friendship; i don't know what he's thinking and half the time, i don't know how to treat him. as a friend, i watch myself and withdraw so that he in turn won't withdraw from me thinking that it's because of my feelings for him. i don't know if he realizes that there are feelings lingering still.
but knowing the way bbq is, everything is going to be glossed over, dismissed. but how long can we do that? i told him that we needed to talk about it, but he hasn't mentioned anything about the whole situation at all. *sigh*. the only good thing is that we talk alot more often. not real deep talk, but something of substance. i don't know. we'll see where it all goes.
so tired. need to go to sleep. a long week ahead of me.
peace.
it's too much to go into what happened the rest of this week. i'll go into it later.
anyways, today we (as in Mic, crispy, T, JK and i) went to the cherry blossom festival today. kind of a mini-birthday celebration for Mic, who's birthday was yesterday.
the blossoms are blooming, but not in full bloom yet. everybody was running a little late, so we just caught the last of the performances of the day.
it was the first time i saw T since pentagon city, so i was finally able to give him his birthday present. short stories by langston hughes. he loved it more than i thought he would. by six, we were looking for a place to eat. we decided to go to uno's at union station.
dinner was filled with lots of laughter and reminicing about times at umbc. for T, it seemed more like lamenting. i didn't know the real reason why he left umbc until tonight. but i had to give him some credit; he's a determined man as well as a diligent student. he shouldn't have regrets about the time he spent there. i know i don't.
all in all, it was a great outing.
back to bbq. he was going to come out with us today, but he ended up with prior obligations. i realize now that we do need to talk about what happened last week. i realize that i have an anxiety problem that is now starting to get worse. i also realize that we have not really talked openly about our friendship; i don't know what he's thinking and half the time, i don't know how to treat him. as a friend, i watch myself and withdraw so that he in turn won't withdraw from me thinking that it's because of my feelings for him. i don't know if he realizes that there are feelings lingering still.
but knowing the way bbq is, everything is going to be glossed over, dismissed. but how long can we do that? i told him that we needed to talk about it, but he hasn't mentioned anything about the whole situation at all. *sigh*. the only good thing is that we talk alot more often. not real deep talk, but something of substance. i don't know. we'll see where it all goes.
so tired. need to go to sleep. a long week ahead of me.
peace.
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