soundtrak: bob marley: keep on moving

work has been keeping me busy. the things i do for science... i have to present a poster (on my research), which i haven't even started working on, in a month. yay. i told myself today that i had to leave the lab while the sun was still up. i did, thus i am here.

last night i had a dream that i got letters from all the graduate programs that i applied to. all the letters were thin...

did i mention? the day after i ran away, i was working at a frantic pace. on one of my five-minute one-minute 30 second breaks, i checked my email and got one from M. she got into graduate school and she rubbed it in my face. and i kid you not, i started to hyperventilate. how did she get in and i haven't heard anything yet? does that mean i didn't get in? my mind was racing. my experiments were left to the wayside; i couldn't think straight. i walked back and forth from lab to freezer to incubator... i didn't know what i was doing. i was having an anxiety attack. walking back from the incubators, trying to trace my steps in my jumbled mind, i ran into K (and did i mention? he's married... that's another different story...). 'you don't look too good,' he said. 'i can't breathe,' i told him. he sat me down and i told him everything that was going on, short of the running away... not even i quite understand that. he talked to me for an hour about the different options i still had if i didn't get into grad school this year. he made sure i was calm and breathing before he let me go.
despite all the drama (he's married for goodness sake! it was funny how i found out: he was presenting during lab meeting; staring at his hand, i noticed he was wearing a ring.. and it wasn't a class ring either... it was a pretty one)... um.. like i was saying, despite all the drama, he's really a good guy. i give him a +1.

in the 'other' department, with easter coming up, there are solos and pieces to be played. i haven't practiced anything. i think i had an article due today, but i haven't even started on that either. i wrote a proposal last night that i have to present on monday.

yo, i need to go relax... or at least try to..

peace.