soundtrak: various
have you seen my side bar lately; i've been on a cd-buying spree this past week. some are good and some are bad. zero 7's cd is ok; i bought it for particular songs. ian pooley is good (just got it in the mail today). i'm still debating about blue six. it's good, but all the tracks are the same. but it's still good.
and i really shouldn't be buying cds considering original is getting married in two weeks and i have yet to get the present or buy the outfit that i'm going in. i need to go out tomorrow after a quick stint at the lab (and by quick, i mean a 1/2 day) and then get the hair done next weekend. but i digress into meaningless talk...
because of my car-less situation, i realize now that i need to get a ride to this wedding ceremony. i would ask crispy, but she's actually in the ceremony. mic insists that i go with bbq since we're both dateless... i mean, ugh! why?! he aggravates me to no end; our whole friendship/relationship/situation aggravates me. but i do need a ride. so i guess that means that i have to call him...
last week was a thankfully short week. working on prepping for experiments this week, putting applications together and etc. so, dr. w thought it would be good if i went on a conference and presented some of the data i have; my data including work from the last fellow and a current summer student. i wouldn't feel as nervous if i wasn't presenting other people's work, even though it's my first scientific conference. ever. it's in NY at the end of the summer. i'm anticipating it.
also this week, we had a fellow get-together thing. mic and i went over and we ran into JM, JM's roommate (who i think had a thing for me, but i had to kill that; it wasn't gonna happen) and JM's roommate's friend (who i thought he was with, but he's not... it's weird and confusing and i don't think i want to know any details). anyways, they have this whole 'thing' set up for us and we basically sit through it for the free food that wasn't really all that. before we got up to get some food, mic spotted 4th floor dood (formerly known as poster dood) in the back. 'now's your chance,' mic nudged me. i shrug because that's what i do when i get completely nervous. try to act cool and bite my cuticles off. classy. we get in line and mic is just nudging away and i'm looking over and he's looking over and i'm so not making the first move. JM's roomie's friend (for the life in me, i can not remember this girl's real name, let alone give her a pseudo one) insisted that we sit outside and eat (with the cicadas?!) and i was seeing the chance of eventually chatting up with 4th floor dood (or at least giving him a chance to come up to me) slipping out of my fingers. i reluctantly agree. mic is 'tsking me the whole way outside. we eat and crack up like ghetto people do. the boys go back in for some more food and us girls discuss my situation. i know i've completely blew it. how can i salvage that? 'go back in there,' mic declared. but i'm not mic. i can't do these things without very much thought out and skilled planning. the guys come back and our convo stops.
we joke around and i swear, how many times can i put my own foot in my own mouth. i am just realizing this as a problem now. i'll say something as a joke and end up offending a friend inadvertently. i seem to have a nack for it; a gift even. just make my life better.
mic still continues to harass me and unexpectedly i scream, 'chi b. is a ... dag, i just forgot what i screamed. it wasn't 'loser' or 'punk'... ah, it'll come to me later. so anyways, as i scream this, 4th floor dood walks out with his mentor (me thinks and hopes it was) and our group suddenly falls silent. mic's eyes widen telling me to go for it, but of course... i just don't. JM's roomie's girl is all like, 'is that him?' yeah, a little bit louder, i don't think he heard you, thanks. i watched him walk by, pitifully and he glanced at me. damn. mic whispers at me, berating me. to which i throw up my hands in the air, 'chi b. is a punk!' who the hell cares if he heard me? i am a punk.
so i deem that whole thing ended. i've killed it. 4th floor dood is no longer an option. well, at least i know what he looks like now.
there's nobody really around that i can hang with. and by hang, i'm talking about on a somewhat weekly basis. well, there are people around but it never happens. thus i feel lonely. mic and JM live around each other and with other fellows at that. good gracious, i live at home people. i feel like i'm out of the loop. it seem that i'm always thought of last minute. i always find out about everything after the fact. but many issues factor into it all. i have already discussed this with cripsy and jam. i'm glad that i did because it was really building a lot of animosity in me. but i still feel the animosity. i still feel the loneness too.
dag. regan's gone. it's not like i'm extremely sad about it, but ... wow. may his soul rest in peace.
peace.
have you seen my side bar lately; i've been on a cd-buying spree this past week. some are good and some are bad. zero 7's cd is ok; i bought it for particular songs. ian pooley is good (just got it in the mail today). i'm still debating about blue six. it's good, but all the tracks are the same. but it's still good.
and i really shouldn't be buying cds considering original is getting married in two weeks and i have yet to get the present or buy the outfit that i'm going in. i need to go out tomorrow after a quick stint at the lab (and by quick, i mean a 1/2 day) and then get the hair done next weekend. but i digress into meaningless talk...
because of my car-less situation, i realize now that i need to get a ride to this wedding ceremony. i would ask crispy, but she's actually in the ceremony. mic insists that i go with bbq since we're both dateless... i mean, ugh! why?! he aggravates me to no end; our whole friendship/relationship/situation aggravates me. but i do need a ride. so i guess that means that i have to call him...
last week was a thankfully short week. working on prepping for experiments this week, putting applications together and etc. so, dr. w thought it would be good if i went on a conference and presented some of the data i have; my data including work from the last fellow and a current summer student. i wouldn't feel as nervous if i wasn't presenting other people's work, even though it's my first scientific conference. ever. it's in NY at the end of the summer. i'm anticipating it.
also this week, we had a fellow get-together thing. mic and i went over and we ran into JM, JM's roommate (who i think had a thing for me, but i had to kill that; it wasn't gonna happen) and JM's roommate's friend (who i thought he was with, but he's not... it's weird and confusing and i don't think i want to know any details). anyways, they have this whole 'thing' set up for us and we basically sit through it for the free food that wasn't really all that. before we got up to get some food, mic spotted 4th floor dood (formerly known as poster dood) in the back. 'now's your chance,' mic nudged me. i shrug because that's what i do when i get completely nervous. try to act cool and bite my cuticles off. classy. we get in line and mic is just nudging away and i'm looking over and he's looking over and i'm so not making the first move. JM's roomie's friend (for the life in me, i can not remember this girl's real name, let alone give her a pseudo one) insisted that we sit outside and eat (with the cicadas?!) and i was seeing the chance of eventually chatting up with 4th floor dood (or at least giving him a chance to come up to me) slipping out of my fingers. i reluctantly agree. mic is 'tsking me the whole way outside. we eat and crack up like ghetto people do. the boys go back in for some more food and us girls discuss my situation. i know i've completely blew it. how can i salvage that? 'go back in there,' mic declared. but i'm not mic. i can't do these things without very much thought out and skilled planning. the guys come back and our convo stops.
we joke around and i swear, how many times can i put my own foot in my own mouth. i am just realizing this as a problem now. i'll say something as a joke and end up offending a friend inadvertently. i seem to have a nack for it; a gift even. just make my life better.
mic still continues to harass me and unexpectedly i scream, 'chi b. is a ... dag, i just forgot what i screamed. it wasn't 'loser' or 'punk'... ah, it'll come to me later. so anyways, as i scream this, 4th floor dood walks out with his mentor (me thinks and hopes it was) and our group suddenly falls silent. mic's eyes widen telling me to go for it, but of course... i just don't. JM's roomie's girl is all like, 'is that him?' yeah, a little bit louder, i don't think he heard you, thanks. i watched him walk by, pitifully and he glanced at me. damn. mic whispers at me, berating me. to which i throw up my hands in the air, 'chi b. is a punk!' who the hell cares if he heard me? i am a punk.
so i deem that whole thing ended. i've killed it. 4th floor dood is no longer an option. well, at least i know what he looks like now.
there's nobody really around that i can hang with. and by hang, i'm talking about on a somewhat weekly basis. well, there are people around but it never happens. thus i feel lonely. mic and JM live around each other and with other fellows at that. good gracious, i live at home people. i feel like i'm out of the loop. it seem that i'm always thought of last minute. i always find out about everything after the fact. but many issues factor into it all. i have already discussed this with cripsy and jam. i'm glad that i did because it was really building a lot of animosity in me. but i still feel the animosity. i still feel the loneness too.
dag. regan's gone. it's not like i'm extremely sad about it, but ... wow. may his soul rest in peace.
peace.
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