soundtrak: nitin sawhney:
sunset
man, what a semester! it's finally over. finals are over. the first one was ok and i'm not really worried about that class. my biochem final was a different matter; it was just alot of information to cram into an exam that was 50% of our grade. but it's over.
i went down to gtown on friday to talk to a professor that i plan on working with next semester. his work is quite exciting and i can't wait to delve in. of course that means that my time with dr. w at n.ih will be coming to an end. everything is waiting for my grades of course, so if i were to fail, then i will still be working with dr. w (at least till august) and applying to more graduate programs. all i can do is pray and hope whatever God has for me, i will accept. in good news though, my 'first' paper (really second, but being listed as a grant number doesn't really count does it?) is being published. i'm not first author of course (MT took that away from me; unfortunately, i was lagging on experiments trying to get into school, with interviews upon interviews), but my name is on there and i did do a sizable chunk of the work, so i'm happy.
so things did happen on my little hiatus. i got a random email from M, who i haven't contacted at all since summer. i don't know what compelled her to send me a forward (of all things), but she did. she somehow heard that i was going to gtown (her first choice). but, honestly i just don't want to deal with her smug attitude. i'm trying to cut people like that out of my life. i don't need it.
so there's this guy at church, to whom i will refer to as MB (man, i need to keep this people straight... i'm all reusing pseudonyms and whatnot...). he's kenyan and with our church population being mostly west indies, it was a rare treat for the other 2 (two man... two!) kenyan families there. when he first starting coming to church and joined the group that i sing with, his... how-do-you-say, flirting techniques were a bit brutish. i don't take to growling, thank you very much. and of course, that was a big turnoff (not to say that i was ever turned on) and i treated him badly for a couple of months (i know, i'm so bad). but i'm honestly trying to be better to people that i don't like, for my soul's sake. and of course, in everybody's mind: "oh, chi and MB should be together... it's so perfect! they're kenyan and christian!" and i hate that, because now i'm being harrassed about it. if there isn't one thing that i hate is when i'm not in control (yes, i'm a control freak) and when people tell me what to do. and i'm stubbon. it's not a good mix. and so instead of letting things fall as they may (if it may be a relationship), i am resisting with every hair in my body. my stubbon self tells me: "you don't need a man" "you're doing fine by yourself" well... that and i have a whole lot of other issues that i don't want to talk about at this point in time. but it is a perfect (almost) situation and right now, i don't care if it i let it slip through my fingers.
*sigh* anyways... now that i'm currently free from school obligations and i'm not really doing anything at work (i really should finish up some experiments, but i think i'm just waiting for the word, so i can roll out), i have a lot of free time on my hands. i have the bad habit of purchasing books throughout the semester (like i have the time to read them then) and then trying to cram my extracurricular reading into one month (well, with p. school, break is for 6 weeks... with private uni. now, i only have a measly three). this semester is a record; 25 books. yeah, i don't know what i was thinking. and then i checked out these books from the p. library that i haven't finished reading yet. of course you can guess what i'm getting for christmas, books or a gift card from bor.ders (that's what al gets me every year; gotta love the brother). yeah, i'm a nerd...
i have also picked up the habit of watching movies by myself (this coming from the girl who couldn't go to the dining hall by herself... truly, if my friends didn't go, i would starve in my room). i watched
closer yesterday, which was really bad. it wasn't horrible, but not only did *each* scene jump time gaps (which nerved me), but by themselves, the scenes seemed hardly credible. i mean, how do you fall in love with someone in the course of 5 minutes or fall out of love in the course of three? after awhile, i desperately wanted the movie to end. it was an odd one and i don't recommend it. there's really nothing else out there for me to watch that i want to see, maybe
spanglish.
i make it a point not to call people during finals period for the pure necessity of concentration on my part. but of course, you know me, i was calling T every other day. it's always hot and cold with this guy. he's cool and he cares and all that good stuff, but then somedays he just does things that make me so angry. he especially has the habit of breaking planned outings (and you know that makes 'planner chi' very, very angry) and making up some lame excuse. so this time i wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. we planned to go to i.kea next tuesday (when we're both off from work); we both need chairs. and i haven't seen him since the cherry blossoms. so i called him back today (he called yesterday and i left the cell in the car) and i reminded him about tuesday. he instantly apologized because he forgot and he talked to another friend and they were going up to ... somewhere in upper MD... i mean, does it matter! i didn't really want to confront him with it, but i did. "you always do this, you know," i was trying not to yell at him. he said that he honestly forgot, but i know that's not the case. i don't know if he just doesn't want to hang with me, two-on-two (in the purest of the friendship and nothing else), but it frustrates me. i may never find out why. some issues with T (re: ash) are off limits and not talked about between the two of us.
anyways, during hiatus, additions have been made. i say hello (jambo! ...with my limited swahili skills... i really know the mother tongue better...) to my fellow kenyan bloggers; go visit links on the right. i really do read more blogs that i list and eventually i'll have to edit my list, but i did add my dearest friend, crispy from umbc, who gave me the gift of crazy. read her; she's good. talking about old friends, i also added gerald.reyes, whom i've known back, back, back when i started journaling. a must visit. and of course, last but not least, my doppelganger (we're both black and have the same blog name), neemie. i like her; go read.
also, since i've been asked 'who is this person?' or 'where did you go to undergraduate again?', i have created a blog exclusively as credits for Delusions of Grandeur. what's it's name, you ask? why...
Delusions of Grandeur: credits... of course. it's not really updated, but i hope to add a cast listing soon... cos i can't keep track of everybody up in my head.
cheers!
peace.
