soundtrak: coldplay: speed of sound
T called me up late one night last week to watch some god-awful singer on the tonight show (if you watched, it was the black cowboy guy...). "i wouldn't have called you if you weren't awake," he remarked. we talked for a little while after when he mentioned he needed to call ash. why? to thank her for sending a belated birthday card. i instantly felt bad for not getting him a card, but remember that he told me that he didn't want anything for his birthday after i got him that langston hughes book last year. so why bother bringing up the card with me? i started t get angry at both T and ash. she says that he irks her; he's hopelessly in love with her. then why provoke him? but i guess that's just the perverse pleasure that the stalkee gets from the stalker. ad for T, he does this to himself everytime; always puts his heart out on his sleeve. he has selective hearing when i try to tell him about ash.
which takes me back to wednesday night at dinner. "what is T? a boyfriend? friend?" P asked. i quickly insisted that we were only friends, but the questioning got my mind thinking, which is never a good think (when not used effectively). we're definetly more than friends, but nowhere near significant others. but i don't push the issue because he never wants to discuss it. he has this great trick: he merely ignores what i say, like i never mentioned it at all. so i tell myself to be patient and to wait and to not expect anything. and that's how i get through each day. i have to be content with what i have.
B is trying to get me to see s.tar w.ars again at the uptown (yeah, i saw it on sunday; so many times my jaw was just hanging open, it was that intense...). last time B and i went to the movies together, we saw the new s.tar tr.ek movie... i forget if it was the first one or second one... eh, does it matter? let's just say a darkened movie theatre is not the place i should be with B. so i'm stalling; i haven't told him if i'm coming or not. if Y goes, then i'm sticking close to him. keeping it safe and keeping it real.
if you'd ask me if i was a loner, i would say maybe. i spend vast amounts of time by myself, on the computer, reading, writing, etc. it has even come to the point that i would rather do group activities by myself. my mom worries about me and my friends wonder. antisocial? maybe. but at the same time, i feel lonely too, like there's noone in the world. misunderstood.
and let me stop dwelling on that. i do this odd thing when i'm at work: i don't eat. i used to do it all the time last year (and it would irk Mic to no end), but when i started school, i got a little better, but alas, i have lasped back to my old ways. i can't explain it.
anyways... i don't know what happened to my comments. they just disappeared... trying to fix that problem. working on a new playlist too.
peace.
T called me up late one night last week to watch some god-awful singer on the tonight show (if you watched, it was the black cowboy guy...). "i wouldn't have called you if you weren't awake," he remarked. we talked for a little while after when he mentioned he needed to call ash. why? to thank her for sending a belated birthday card. i instantly felt bad for not getting him a card, but remember that he told me that he didn't want anything for his birthday after i got him that langston hughes book last year. so why bother bringing up the card with me? i started t get angry at both T and ash. she says that he irks her; he's hopelessly in love with her. then why provoke him? but i guess that's just the perverse pleasure that the stalkee gets from the stalker. ad for T, he does this to himself everytime; always puts his heart out on his sleeve. he has selective hearing when i try to tell him about ash.
which takes me back to wednesday night at dinner. "what is T? a boyfriend? friend?" P asked. i quickly insisted that we were only friends, but the questioning got my mind thinking, which is never a good think (when not used effectively). we're definetly more than friends, but nowhere near significant others. but i don't push the issue because he never wants to discuss it. he has this great trick: he merely ignores what i say, like i never mentioned it at all. so i tell myself to be patient and to wait and to not expect anything. and that's how i get through each day. i have to be content with what i have.
B is trying to get me to see s.tar w.ars again at the uptown (yeah, i saw it on sunday; so many times my jaw was just hanging open, it was that intense...). last time B and i went to the movies together, we saw the new s.tar tr.ek movie... i forget if it was the first one or second one... eh, does it matter? let's just say a darkened movie theatre is not the place i should be with B. so i'm stalling; i haven't told him if i'm coming or not. if Y goes, then i'm sticking close to him. keeping it safe and keeping it real.
if you'd ask me if i was a loner, i would say maybe. i spend vast amounts of time by myself, on the computer, reading, writing, etc. it has even come to the point that i would rather do group activities by myself. my mom worries about me and my friends wonder. antisocial? maybe. but at the same time, i feel lonely too, like there's noone in the world. misunderstood.
and let me stop dwelling on that. i do this odd thing when i'm at work: i don't eat. i used to do it all the time last year (and it would irk Mic to no end), but when i started school, i got a little better, but alas, i have lasped back to my old ways. i can't explain it.
anyways... i don't know what happened to my comments. they just disappeared... trying to fix that problem. working on a new playlist too.
peace.
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