soundtrak: gorillaz: feel good inc

wednesday night

talking earlier this week with B, i told him that i might be in lab late wednesday to make up for the fact that i wouldn't be coming in on thursday and friday. he offered to pick me up at the station near nih (since he works at rockville... how funky is that?) then drive me home after, but i'm not stupid and i know how to avoid getting cornered like that. i'm smarter that he remembers. i got home with an hour to spare and drove up to rockville to run errands that i need to run anyways. of course, B and i were the first ones (why is Y always late?), he surprised me while i was perusing for books at the b&n (like i need any more books!) i don't look him in the face when i talk to him. i look through random books and walk through random aisles as our small talk is strained and pained. at some point, he made some comment, which completely escapes me at the moment, to which he said, "see, i'm making fun at my (high school) self." and now i know he remembers what he did to me. he's physical and manipulative and he knows it. we sat at sbucks, to which jules calls me to confirm plans about tomorrow. when B. realizes, he's instantly uncomfortable, which is understandable when jules explains her relationship with him the next day. Y and our other friend finally show up and B drives down to dc. B picked up the tickets (which he bought) and we ended up having dinner at the thai place across the street before the movie (recommended highly). B also paid for dinner; i wasn't complaining... that fool owes me.
the movie was good, but then i would imagine that any movie at the uptown would be good. the last time i was there, dad dumped al and me off to watch 2001: a space odyssey. seven years old is waaay too young to watch a movie like that. anyways, in the theatre, other friend made me sit next to her (i think she was also trying to avoid B's woo-ing) and i made sure that Y sat between B and i. no fondling in the movie theatre please! movie ended around 1am and got home soon after. went to sleep around 2.30.

thursday

during the drive up to bmore, i told jules the whole history between B and i. she told me how she met B (through her) and we compared notes, what is clear is that B is manipulative (need i say it again?) of course, its hard to believe how cruel B can be when he seems so sweet and loving to everyone else. jules has always been a self confident kind of girl, unlike me, who just happened to pick some sort of courage post high school. really, i was looking for somebody to care about me and B was the next best thing. and i fell into trap.

graduation was fun. jules picked me up in her new car at the time the the ceremony started. that's ok; i don't like sitting through the dozen of speakers they tend to have at these things. by the time we bypassed the annual downtown bmore traffic (all because of graduation...) and actually found parking, we entered into the arena just to miss the biochemistry candidates (to which our mutual friend was graduating, as well as the new B, who didn't tell me he was graduating... but i have to say... our department grew in the past two years...) our mutual friend's girlfriend saved us a seat that just happened to be a row away from dee's parent and brother. dee didn't tell me that she was graduating either; the last time i talked to her was january. i haven't seen the rest of her family in a year or so. of course, the thing with graduation is that you go to see one or two of your friend graduate and then you find out that you have 50 other people you know graduating that you didn't even know about. some of the people, like Ti, came in with me and are just now getting out. i know its been a struggle for them, academically and financially, which just makes graduation day all the sweeter. after, jules and i went to copelands to celebrate with mutual friend and party. being a steakhouse, i ate the caesar salad which instantly made me sick to the stomach (maybe the anchovie paste... did you know that they have that in there?). got home around 11, proceeded to take out braids and finished around 3.30 in the morning. yay.

friday

i should take off to get my hair braided more often. i was the only customer, so it only took five hours. its red and its long and its fresh.

saturday

church. no youth program, so i took an extended nap til nine. drove out to largo for jam's girl's graduation party. i wasn't expecting an african party (much music, food and people), but i shouldn't have expected less. both are nigerian. chatted with original and rich who live right down the street, and buttawrecka, who i ended up taking home (dude, exit 4?!) got home around 1-ish, but didn't sleep til three.

sunday

six flags with the group of young girls (7 to 17) from church. we do this thing every year, usually taking them to spend over night at a hotel, but the six flags addition was new this year. i chaperoned the 'no-roller coaster' group and got on just two rides (the carousel... that just makes me sound wimpy, and the white water rafting ride) which only goes to show i'm getting too old for this stuff. fear is not a thrill for me anymore. sat around the wave pool while the kiddies played in the water. left later than we wanted to, which threw all other plans out of wack (i.e. the pizza man waited for an hour and left). we didn't have any dinner for these restless, exhausted kids. we tried to convince the guy that we would come to pick up the pizzas (and when we did go, the guy ended up throwing them away), but took orders for the dollar menu at McDees (for 25-30 people... can anyone say ghetto?). it was around midnight when we got to the restaurant and it took about 40 minutes for our order to be processed. it was the four of us, two chaperones and two girls, one of them being very outspoken (she loves to talk to strangers). she befriends these two guys in the place, who were high (somebody had the munchies...), drunk and all up in our conversation about thongs, wedgies and etc (it would take way too long to explain...). we were all laughing at that point. we spent around two hours driving around all of town getting food and stuff and laughing at complete randomness. i never laughed so hard in my life; my lungs were aching by the time we got back to the hotel. ate and had to discipline some girls (they think i just do this for my health?!) got some decent sleep (five glorious hours), packed up, drove the girls to church, waited for late parents (hmm) and got home around noon.


and i'm still wondering where my weekend went. i'm actually glad i did some lab work today; stimulate my mind somewhat. i think i need to take a break this weekend, but its not going to happen. next saturday is youth day, which i still have yet to work on. i also have the youth program that afternoon... gah! sunday is family friend's hs graduation party, so i have to cancel the planned outing with Y to capital jazz fest (i don't have $40 anyways...) *sigh* so how was your weekend?


peace.

soundtrak: common: it's your world

the past five days have been ... wow. well, it's over. while i decompress, i'll just answer a couple of questions (since i've been tagged).

# Total number of films I own on dvd/video:

10 dvds... i'm just starting my collection.

# The last film I bought:

garden state, which is still it's original packing. i haven't watched it yet.

# The last film I watched:

starwars – revenge of the sith... of course...

# Five films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me:

1. the color purple: i can't even start about this movie... so many things...
2. spartacus: great story, great directing, great actors... did i mention great story?
3. ben-hur: another great story... can you tell, i like old movies...
4. a raisin in the sun: sidney poitier... man, i should just list all his movies...
5. lumumba: i went out with my parents to go watch this movie... my god... i can't even start to explain... the past is so very important as well as understanding how things have come to be.

peace.

soundtrak: thomas mapfumo: madhebhura

i was waiting in line for the shuttle this morning, when the guy in front of me decided that it was time for a smoke. i wouldn't have minded, but dag man, we're in line. my sinuses are now inflammed and my nose is stuffy.

so Y is coming to previously mentioned movie tonight. i wonder if he knows that the movie is 2-1/2 hours long... and i know he has work tomorrow. anyways, as long as i'm not sitting next to B., i'll be fine. of course, that's what i tell myself... we'll see when we get there...

got time off tomorrow; going to umbc's graduation. OG is graduating and couple of scholars from the scholars program that i was in (still in, i think, but our perks are limited) are graduating as well. not really looking forward to the actual ceremony (which is always boring, even when i graduated... what they need is good speaker... like desmond tutu), but seeing people. i think this might be one of the last umbc graduations that i'll be attending (unless, that is, timon decides to go there, which would somehow just be wrong in my eyes...).

anyways, i'm at school and my cultures are growing. updates abound later.

peace.

soundtrak: coldplay: speed of sound

T called me up late one night last week to watch some god-awful singer on the tonight show (if you watched, it was the black cowboy guy...). "i wouldn't have called you if you weren't awake," he remarked. we talked for a little while after when he mentioned he needed to call ash. why? to thank her for sending a belated birthday card. i instantly felt bad for not getting him a card, but remember that he told me that he didn't want anything for his birthday after i got him that langston hughes book last year. so why bother bringing up the card with me? i started t get angry at both T and ash. she says that he irks her; he's hopelessly in love with her. then why provoke him? but i guess that's just the perverse pleasure that the stalkee gets from the stalker. ad for T, he does this to himself everytime; always puts his heart out on his sleeve. he has selective hearing when i try to tell him about ash.

which takes me back to wednesday night at dinner. "what is T? a boyfriend? friend?" P asked. i quickly insisted that we were only friends, but the questioning got my mind thinking, which is never a good think (when not used effectively). we're definetly more than friends, but nowhere near significant others. but i don't push the issue because he never wants to discuss it. he has this great trick: he merely ignores what i say, like i never mentioned it at all. so i tell myself to be patient and to wait and to not expect anything. and that's how i get through each day. i have to be content with what i have.

B is trying to get me to see s.tar w.ars again at the uptown (yeah, i saw it on sunday; so many times my jaw was just hanging open, it was that intense...). last time B and i went to the movies together, we saw the new s.tar tr.ek movie... i forget if it was the first one or second one... eh, does it matter? let's just say a darkened movie theatre is not the place i should be with B. so i'm stalling; i haven't told him if i'm coming or not. if Y goes, then i'm sticking close to him. keeping it safe and keeping it real.

if you'd ask me if i was a loner, i would say maybe. i spend vast amounts of time by myself, on the computer, reading, writing, etc. it has even come to the point that i would rather do group activities by myself. my mom worries about me and my friends wonder. antisocial? maybe. but at the same time, i feel lonely too, like there's noone in the world. misunderstood.

and let me stop dwelling on that. i do this odd thing when i'm at work: i don't eat. i used to do it all the time last year (and it would irk Mic to no end), but when i started school, i got a little better, but alas, i have lasped back to my old ways. i can't explain it.

anyways... i don't know what happened to my comments. they just disappeared... trying to fix that problem. working on a new playlist too.

peace.

soundtrak: doves: black and white town

so wednesday, i was waiting for the train home from school. actually, the funny thing was that when i got to the platform, i watched a train come, people board and leave, before i realized that in fact, that was the train that i was supposed to get on. i had to wait 10 more minutes for the next one, to which a girl tapped me on my shoulder, which ended up sol, one of my friends from high school that works at dupont circle. small world. so we're taking the train and she invites me to dinner with P and another high school friend that just got back in the country. i agreed and we exchanged info. i called Y last minute to see if he wanted to go; i knew he hadn't seen any high school people in awhile.
we met at the chees.ecake factory (i swear, the waiters know me by name now... it's that sad...) and played catch up, talking about random classmates (read: LS and all his crazed glory) and teachers. so as we're waiting for table, P keeps on talking about: oh, i have to call B. and i'm so stupid, thinking that she's not talking about the SOB that i cut all communication from for seven years running, meaning that i wasn't trying to see him, talk to him or have anything to do with him. but alas, it was the same B. and there was no way that i could get out of avoiding him, so i just had to take it like a (wo)man. (i have been writing for so long, i have multiple links for this man, like back to 98', but i'll try to keep it recent) fortunately, he was also having dinner at the same place with a couple of his co-workers. when he came in, he greeted the group, then came up to me. he was like, “can i get a hug?” and i was like, “hell no… but i’ll shake you hand.” but P insisted that we hug and make up; this coming from the person that doesn't know all the shit that B put me through. then B starts going on and on about how i refused to talk to him for like seven years and whatnot and how he doesn’t even know what he did wrong anymore. and i just wanted to slap him; he’s such a punk. but then he went off with his co-workers.

other than that whole mess, dinner was ok. after awhile, B came over again, liquored up, starts rubbing his leg against mine and sweet talking me, talking about, “why are you so mad at me chi?” of course i wasn’t going to talk about his verbal abusive self with everybody else around, so i didn’t say much. somehow, he convinced me to give him my cell number. anyways, i guess i have to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he starts up that shit again, i ain’t taking it.

talking about others, MB has been missing in action for the last two months; the best two months of my life, i'm telling you. everyone was a bit worried that he dropped out of singing, but he's just on extended vacation.

this week was amusing. my boss was really trying to see the s.tar w.ars movie and she called on friday morning to let the lab know that she was going to be late because she was in line to watch the show... i'm telling you, the intense love for sci-fi in one place is overwhelming.

other than the apparent unpleasantness of running into B., there was alot of reminicing. my nickname used to be dr. chi-hyphen-fill-in-the-blank or just dr. chi. they had me paired up with this guy that i had a crush on and named our first born and everything. those were the days...

peace.

soundtrak: oasis: slide away

the semester is over and grades are out. i ended up with a B average (which i was ever so desperately aiming for), but i still have to take cell over again. great. what's the use telling the rents when they aren't paying. i'm still at my first rotation since i have yet to set up my second one. it's depressing and i don't want to talk about it. i still have some people up in the air, so i'm waiting for it to pan out. i could be on vacation right now, but i voluntarily decided (mind you, i would still get paid even if i ended early... yeah, i don't know what i was thinking either...) to stay on. i'm whincing on the inside. but yet, today i finally got (confirmed) my mutant.
ha! eat that DNA! i hope to amplify and purify and then i'll just call it quits. if the mal.aria gen.etics doesn't work out, i'll definetly go back to proteins.

i don't want to break out to my true nerd self, but i'm excited about the new st.ar wa.rs movie. actually, the whole floor is excited, which is kind of scary to me... having so many s.w. fans in one place. but what do you
expect: we're scientists. some are just more hardcore than others (especially the professors... whoa...). same goes with sta.r tr.ek.
but yeah, sta.r wa.rs.... the floor is thinking about taking a day off to go see it next week... yes, it's that serious...

my new addiction right now is the si.ms 2. when they first came out with the si.ms, i purposefully stayed away. i didn't want to get swept up in it all.
but then my cousins came over last weekend and my uncle bought them the game. next thing you know, they installed in on the laptop and i only played 20 minutes. but that was all the time i needed; i was hooked. i went out monday and bought a copy (thanks to other uncle for gift card to ta.rget) for myself, along with the university expansion pack. i've been playing non-stop ever since; when i get home from lab to 2 in the morning.
the sim i made is a scientist (of course...), but a ho, sleeping with two guys, having a baby with another. it's crazy. i can't believe i let myself get sucked in.

anyways, for some reason, i agreed with m&c to go on a cruise near the end of august. when *clearly* i don't have any money.... maybe a visit to ny to see mic or even philly again, just might be a little easier. i know this will be the last summer i'll have... ever! i need to make the most out of it.

anyways, i'm gone... off to play... well, you know...

peace.

i am not in the mood.

soundtrak: sting: all this time

isn't it funny how certain things come into focus at certain times. this morning, it was all about the cell bio, all about the info, all about the passing of the class. traveling back home, i realized that my jeans were hanging off my frame (due to my consistent diet of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches), my shoes are worn to the soles and my hair is a hot mess. i still have some work to do, but now i can try to focus on these things.
i woke up this morning and i thought i slept wrong; there were sharp pains in my upper back and my disability was flaring up. it wasn't until i slung my bag over my shoulder when i realized that i probably bruised my ribs with the crushing weight of all my class notes (mind you, not books, but piles and piles of notes printed on paper).

the final was ok... i suppose. just have to wait and see how they'll grade. definitely better than the last one. after, a group of us celebrated the end of the semester at the tombs.
it seemed like everyone was there; just trying to get away and get drunk in the middle of the day. checked on stuff in the lab then headed home to work on this paper that i'm still not done with; it's due asap. on the shuttle, saw cops on segways (segways?!) and horses... i guess only in georgetown.

about two weeks ago, mic came down from ny to visit for spring break (yeah, i know... spring break at the end of april). we went downtown to eat and play some pool, along with Y, bbq, JK and T. i was surprised that the girlfriend let Y come out and play. little did i know, the girlfriend is out of the country for a year or so... so, i guess Y is bored. he's really trying to get out of the house. let me help a brother out. walking from the restaurant to the pool hall, we ran into some guys from school. granted i know T from high school and Y from middle school, but this other dude i ran into... kindergarden! 13 years... it was too crazy... but it makes me all the more adamant to finally move away from this area... i need not to be running into all these people.
bbq's birthday was last week, but i didn't have the money to go (you know how being a graduate student is). i promised myself that i wouldn't get him a present and i was good and i didn't. feelings are starting to fade and i feel better about it.

wizards do it again.

is it just me or does it seem like there has been alot of crime in dc for the past couple of weeks? anyways, more work to be done.

peace.