soundtrak: oasis: wonderwall

i can't believe i watched the whole thing. don't ask me where i was when the matrx trilogy came out and why i missed it. i watched all 6+ hours on christmas day.
my ears have been bothering me for the past couple of days. after the matrix marathon, i walked into my room and my ears promptly plugged up. i thought it was just pressure, but then this morning i literally couldn't get out of bed, i was dizzy and nauseated. i called off work and got al to drive me to gtown (because of my sucky student insurance... you know how it is...). diagnosis: no ear infection, but maybe a virus. i slept most of the day and most of the dizziness and nausea left. maybe it's just a funky case of congestion. the doc was telling me to wait it out for a couple of weeks... a couple of weeks! ehh.

and without further ado...
2005 in review:
1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before? err... let me come back to this one
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? nope and yup
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? yes
4. Did anyone close to you die? yes
5. What countries did you visit? ha! i didn't go nowhere! (same response as last year!)
6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? power (not like you think...)
7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? no date in particular...
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? ehh...
9. What was your biggest failure? ehh...
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? too many... things that i don't understand
11. What was the best thing you bought? a book... a particular one... runner's world: introduction to running
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? mine?
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? JK comes to mind
14. Where did most of your money go? books, books and more books
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? getting back to work in the lab.. whoo!
16. What song will always remind you of 2005? frou frou: let go; coldplay: x&y (the album)
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- i. happier or sadder? i think it's evened out
- ii. thinner or fatter? no net gain, no net loss
- iii. richer or poorer? evened out... got a stipend raise, but i bought a whole rack of books...
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? concentrating on things... important things... (same as last year!)
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? just sitting in front of the boob tube. like daddy says, they'll always play reruns or you can always buy the dvd's...word up! (same as last year!)
20. Did you fall in love in 2005? ha! no...
21. How many one-night stands? ha! i laugh at this question... no (same as last year)
22. What was your favorite TV program? lost (that show is hot!; same as last year!)
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? hate is such a strong word... dislike, yes... but no names... (same as last year!)
24. What was the best book you read? two books: no longer at ease by chinua achebe and upstate by kalisha buckhanon
25. What was your greatest musical discovery? damien rice
26. What did you want and get? a car
27. What did you want and not get? another computer
28. What was your favorite film of this year? i didn't watch alot of movies this year...
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 25; played pool and didn't have to pay for it... fabulous!
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? don't know...
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? slumin': jeans, pullovers, sneaks, tshirts.. (same as last year!)
32. What kept you sane? music (same as last year!)
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? ha! none (same as last year!)
34. What political issue stirred you the most? the mishandling of hurricane katrina
35. Whom did you miss? T; school and work have created distance between us.
36. Who was the best new person you met? abbs, my grad school partner in crime
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005: remember that children's story, the little engine that could; i felt just like than little engine: i think i can! i think i can! i think i can! 8 long months of searching for a lab and there were days where i seriously wanted to give up... but by the grace of God i didn't... and i'm glad i didn't, cos i finally scored. and i know that it's not going to get easier, so i just have to keep on going at it.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "just breathe. just believe" - telepopmusik: breathe

peace.

soundtrak: van hunt: hold my hand

finally, the end of the semester. for at least three weeks, i won't have to think too hard (i mean, i still have lab). i can relax and watch a movie or something. read a daggone book.

new radio.blog up. i love fertile ground; i remember when ash and i used to jam to this record while studying chemistry. the good old innocent days. i love common too. everything else is just a mix of what's caught my ear in my library.

work is going well. i'm really starting to get into it. my only problem, is seems, is waking up on time to get there. i just got a parking pass today, so i have been taking the bus (still even though i despise it). this morning i ran out of the house with just enough time to catch the 740 bus (which would get me to campus around 830), but just as i ran to the stop, i realized i left my badge at home. i decided that it would be better to be late than going through the hassle of security (and trust me, it's a hassle). but i couldn't leave because i would have to pay $4 to get my car out of the garage and by the time i would get back, all the parking would be gone. so i called dad, who brought over my ID and i ended up taking the train just to catch the other 800 bus, that gets to campus much faster, to get to campus by 830. you know, i'm not liking these adventures in public transportation; it makes sense in the city, not the suburbs. good riddance. i'm driving in tomorrow.

christmas is less than a week away and i haven't gone shopping yet. i don't know if it's procrastination, but i wait until the end of the semester before i venture out. this year... just screw it. everybody is getting visa giftcards. i don't have time for this. i have no idea what i'm getting for christmas only because i didn't ask for anything. i just hope i don't get clothes. i know i don't like clothes shopping, but there are so many other people out there that would appreciate them better than me. i guess i'm at the point where alot of the things i want, i can get on my own.

sometimes i don't know what's wrong with me. today, dr. a was practically giving me time off for the holidays (even though i just started a week ago), but i declined. i mean, why do i always do that? really... it's just going to be dr. a and i, working away. ugh.. i've been lazying away for 8 months anyways... i guess i should work.

just i finish typing this entry, my nose starts to run. i run a finger under my nose to stop the flow and all of a sudden my hand is covered in blood. i've been having muscosal problems recently (let not get into it, cos it's ugly), i guess because of the dry air/heat. all because it's so daggone cold outside. either that or a brain tumor. i hope it's not a brain tumor.

peace.

soundtrak: slim smith and the uniques: my conversation

quickly, since i'm taking a break from typing this immuno final up:

- so they found my phone... i dropped it on the shuttle bus on campus (at work). i trust people more in there than people off-campus. for some reason, they called the last person that i called on the phone (instead of 'home', which is clearly my home phone number... come on people...), which just happened to be non-date. so he IMed me with the message. i didn't go to work today because of my other final, but i'll be sure to pick it up tomorrow. joy to me.
oh... and complete randomness: was reading memoirs on the train and this random guy just started talking to me about it. i was just sort of nodding my head and saying 'yeah' alot; i don't like talking to strangers on the train.

a little something new... i was bored. will work on radio blog later.

note to self: the hand hug. and i'm still laughing about it...

peace.

soundtrak: weezer: undone (the sweater song)

you ever get that feeling when your frantically looking for your keys or cell... you know what i'm talking about... that feeling of dread that maybe, just maybe you won't find it at the bottom of your purse, stuck in the side pocket of your backpack. but when you do, relief melts over you and securely clutch your prized possession. that was me, in the middle of the day, looking frantically for my cell phone...except i never found it and i still have that feeling of dread as i suspend my cell phone account and call around friends and the bus depot.
the last time i clutched my phone in my hands was when i was rounding the corner to work, on the bus. did i ever mention how much i hate the bus? i never can do anything but sleep, unlike the train where i can study, read and be productive. the people on the bus annoy me somehow more than the people on the train. and now that my cell is lost, i hate the bus even more. i'm trying to figure if i should wait up til 1am this morning when they clean out all the buses, to see if they found my phone. cos $270 is really not worth wasting.

also on the bus hating, i was taking the bus to my metro station (where i parked my car) and we almost rear ended this car that stopped because of a passing fire truck. i don't care if i have to go all the way around the red line and it take 45 min. (instead of the supposed 30 min, if you don't count waiting for their late a**) and i pay double the amount. i am not taking the bus again! i really need to get my parking permit already...

anyways, i have a final tomorrow. still working on my immuno final due wednesday. i got alot of that done at work today since i haven't started any experiments yet. I'm gonna start with that on wednesday, the student teaching me what to do. i remember just two years ago (almost.. about) when i was the (pre-graduate) student in the lab. man, this is going to be weird. other than that, i'm liking the work and the people; it's a great lab to be.

yesterday, i went to study at umbc (it's the only place i can really study, i'm not gonna lie... and i actually got alot of work done..) with non-date. and i think that's what i'm gonna call him now, because he's really not my type at all and frankly, i find him annoying at times. he's cool though. the background on him is that we both graduated at the same time with the same degree, but i didn't meet him til now, at gu. anyways, he was studying for another exam, so i could kind of work on my own. i spent most of the afternoon there, then we went out to eat (more him pressuring me to go out and eat). we talked... or more like i talked about B and all that hot mess. and i notice i tend to do that alot: i give out alot of information about myself, yet i know nothing about other people. i am aware of that and i pointedly ask 'getting to know you questions', but it always seems this way. anyways, i don't know what non-date wants out of all this... it's clearly more than friends, but i'm just not feeling him like that.

anyways, i'm tired; all this losing-the-cell-phone drama. back when things cool off... if they do.

peace.

soundtrak: sirius mo: u-again

you know how the first day of anything is.. you don't want to make yourself look like a fool, you want to look like you know what you're doing even though you have no idea what's going on.
being nervous makes me anxious, which makes me want to delve into work. but the first day is always slow. always.
you don't really know anyone, so you don't talk. at least i don't. i know some people think i'm stuck up since i'm quiet and i don't talk, but really is because i'm shy.
so what did i do today? familiarized myself with my surroundings, read some papers and protocols. hoepfully, will get hands on by next week. my last final is due wednesday. classes next semester start at 8am... i don't wake up at 8am (or 7am rather), i have to be sitting in class at 8am in the morning... talking about bacterial pathogenesis. fabulous.

they say that it's supposed to snow tonight. the snow storm earlier this week was a dud; it didn't even do anything with the street. tonight it's supposed to be more significant. when the federal government closes, that's significant. that's like... a blizzard.

you know what really irks me? people that talk stuff they don't know. in the age of webMD, everybody thinks they can diagnose themselves. i'm not gonna lie. i ain't no MD, but i know about the same as your average medical student. so what really gets me is when you have people like this that have absolutely no medical training at all... i'm sorry, i have no pity for you.

updating radio.blog; any theme suggestions are welcome. anyways, i'm tired and i'm bout to pass out. tgif.. we're almost there.

peace.

soundtrak: the russian futurists: still life

the completely random list:

- i really don't want to go to class today. i didn't take the metro because i'm delaying leaving the house. i wish i did though (instead of driving to school), because as i type this, little flurries are floating by my windows. *chi shakes head*
- instead of studying, i was watching tv... judge hack.ett. personally, i don't like the show but there wasn't anything else on. there was this girl that was just sleeping around with dudes; she was 14 i think. so the judge decided to send her to south africa to see the effects of hivv/aids. and for some reason, i just started to get mad. seething angry. throughout the episode, the girl comments on how she didn't realize how hard life was without running water, the basic things that we take for granted here in the states and then having to deal with hiv/aids and not having the money to buy the drugs you need to survive. and i still don't know why i'm so angry. maybe because there are so many youth here that don't know about the youth on the other side of the world. when they complain about not getting the latest and greatest in fashion and entainment while these other kids go without. maybe because of the adults that don't realize what's going on. maybe because i feel so helpless. i don't know.
- i think i've mentioned it here before that i have four other siblings, cousins that my parents adopted when their parents died from aids. we send them money for clothes, food and school fees, but it's never enough. our close relation is what hurts the most. you see or hear about aids orphans, but it's another when you know...
- i was talking to jam last night. we were talking about some of the worries he was having and how some of them could be just all in his head. and i just started to think about the 'problems' that i have with some people. T (and crispy and several other people) have mentioned that some of these issues that i have with people are sometimes all in my head. but you know what, this blog isn't called delusions of grandeur for nothing. i know i'm not right all the time, but this is my forum to write things from my perspective, write what i think. and i can't be apologetic about that. sometimes i avoid writing because i don't want to appear wrong or whinny. it's one thing to write and not know that i can be like that and it's another to know that i am, you know? anyways, they're my delusions of grandeur... mine, all mine! *chi laughs and rubs hands together*
- i just spent $72 renewing my gym membership. i keep on telling it's not a waste if i actually go... it's not a waste if i actually go...
- tgif.

peace.