Monday, October 30, 2006

soundtrak: handsome boy modeling school: the truth

yesterday, for the first time in a long time, i went out with Y and B. after giving myself the ultimatium that i would never go out with these two again... yeah, i don't know where this sentence is going. anyways, i though Y would bring ana along, but he was at home, alone, when he came downtown, which is never unusual for him. sad but not unusual. there was some sort of running inside joke going on between Y and B about ana, but i chose not to get into it. if he's not getting affection, that is not my concern.
i really wanted to see a movie this weekend, being that i barely have the time or money to see movies when they come out. that didn't happen; Y and B seem to watch every movie under the sun when they come out. i haven't even watched xmen 3 yet.
we ate at a resturant nearby and caught up on life somewhat, talked about the world of academia for undergraduates and graduate students and reminiced about our high school scholars program. after, instead of the movie, we roamed about borders for awhile (you know that's a trouble spot for me; with an amazing show of willpower, i didn't buy anything). while in borders, we found this book called colorstrology, which tells about your personality based on your birthdate. mine was pretty accurate, if you even believe in that kind of stuff:

characteristics: independent, persevering, focused

you have a strong independent streak and know how to do things for yourself.
making decisions, following an outline and doing anything that is cerebral in nature comes easily to you. it is important for you to honor the emotional side of life, especially in regard to relationships and expressing your feelings. your personal color (burnished lilac) helps to balance the aggressive with the sensitive side of your nature.

B. was especially touchy-feely. his hands were always on my shoulder, massaging my neck, touching my face, his arm looped in mine, his head resting on my shoulder. that's just the way he is. it's not so much annoying anymore. i think that's the only thing that's been consistent with him despite all the years that i chose not to talk to him.

B colorstrology profile: characteristics: sexy, deep, probing

your ability to delve below the surface is your specialty. you are a natural investigator and can see things through to the core of the truth (which you know i hate). you have a natural talent for attracting money (which is true, based where he works). romantic and sensual, many people find you quite irresistible. you were born with strength and capability. wearing, meditating or surrounding yourself with the color mulberry (which he absolutely hated... ha!) helps you sustain your passion without becoming too intense.

hmm.

i don't know what the deal with my tuition is. there is just too many loose ends and nobody knows how to resolve the issue.
trying to get back into the lab, working and such. so many things going wrong with my mice, but i'm still trying to deal.
and of course, other things.

anyways. now, i rest.

peace.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

(written on a very slow friday morning)

soundtrak: mingle: give up and try

randomness squared:

MUSIC:
random music 7:
1. mingle: give up and try
2. spacek: how do i move
3. zero 7: likufanele
4. daft punk: voyager
5. john mayer: slow dancing in a burning room
6. clara hill: restless times
7. the walkmen: we've been had

last album purchased: mingle: breaking cycles
looking forward to...: beck, amos lee

FOOD:
shopping list:
- soy milk
- chocolate syrup
- dried fruit
- sorbet (strawberry and mango)
- honey nut cashews
- strawberry jam
- grape nuts
- canned tropical fruit mix

last thing eaten: vegan provolone cheese + veggie corned beef on wheat (yes, for breakfast... yeah, i'm weird)
probably going to eat...: i don't know... cereal?

MONEY:
credit card bill for october: ~$763 (eeeek!)
current checking balance: $483
last bill paid: $125 to the DC government (i hate you too DC)

last purchase: ZIPS dry cleaning: $10
last book purchased: caprice crane: stupid and contagious (yesterday.. hee!)
last food purchase: subway (eat fresh!)
last electronic purchase: ipod shuffle (yes, i have two now)

COMPUTER-WISE:
last website visited: amazon.com (i just can't stay away...)
last journal visited: marcus
last file opened: bacteriology midterm practice questions
last game played: Sims 2: Nightlife (it's like reality in game form!)

FRIENDS:
last person emailed: whm
last person messaged: abbs
last person called: B. (ugh!)
last person to email me: whm
last person to message me: crispy
last person to call me: B.

STATS:
current temperature: 49 deg F
high: 52 deg F
low: 46 deg F
forecast: overcast, rain.

current time: 10:32am EST
in kenya: 5:32pm

location: bethesda, md

MENTAL:
current book reading: leah stewart: the myth of you and me
what i'm thinking right now: what i'm going to get from the supply store for my experiments; when i'm going to get an email back from GU about my tuition

future plans:
today: pick up dry cleaning, rehersal and sleep
tomorrow: church (and singing), then taking out al for his birthday
sunday: dinner and a movie (maybe...)
next week: experiments to do and classes; get paid!
next month: helping whm out with his presentations, thanksgiving
next year: my birthday (yeah boyie!!), comps, hawaii vacation after comps
next decade: winning the nobel prize baby!

peace.

Monday, October 23, 2006

soundtrak: junior boys: so this is goodbye

so the midterm and presentation went well. i didn't faint, even though i was nervous as hell. i don't know what happened; before grad school, i used to be so good at giving presentations.

i'm at home today, studying for the next midterm that i have this wednesday. i'm trying not to be too lazy about it, chillin' at home. i'm taking a break next weekend, because it's deserved. dinner and a movie; care to come along?

things subtly changed; there is a gentle shift. and we can both feel it. and my eyes are opened. and i see it for what it truly is.

peace.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

soundtrak: les nubians: desolee

it's 810 in the morning and i'm at school. i have this midterm is less than an hour, then i have a bit of free time before lab (class) so i can work on my presentation that i'm presenting this evening. i think i'm more nervous about the presentation than the midterm. i know what i want to say, but i just need to sit down and actually write it out. i don't want to look dumb (i mean, i already feel dumb) but i figure that if i look and sound like i know what i'm talking about, then i'll be good.

i had a severe anxiety attack yesterday, the first day of lab class. sometimes, i don't know what triggers them. i was really tired yesterday; i've been coming into lab 5 in the morning for the past couple of days and i guess everything just hit me all at the same time. i was hyperventilating for about 15 minutes. it's so strange to me because before grad school, i never, never had an anxiety attack. i always think i'm better than this, you're stronger than this. i don't know.

some other 'things' going on. i don't want to talk about it really; i'm trying to figure it all out myself. it's confusing. logic denotes one thing, but my feelings and intuition are saying another.

anyways, i'm alive, if barely. i hope i don't faint tonight. blah!

peace.

Monday, October 09, 2006

soundtrak: pendulum: streamline

updated radio.blog. top rated current random seven. enjoy.

thanks to T and crispy for a great weekend. i'm still smiling.

peace.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

soundtrak: the chemical brothers: the boxer

the bad/good list

bad:

- graduate school
- lack of money
- broken ipod
- sore abs
- no time to read
- experiments + studying for midterms + seminar presentation = october

good:
- graduate school
- new platinum card
- new video ipod
- -10 lbs (overall -80 lbs)
- new books (i couldn't help myself)
- talking to T
- new funny geico caveman commercial (all of them are hilarious though)

that is all.


peace.