Let Me Show Ya

soundtrak: jazzanova :: let me show ya

- i am probably one of the most anti-social beings on the planet. i know it’s not conducive to surviving in the work environment, but with some people, i just can’t do it. i can be friendly, i can be helpful, i can talk about current news events, but if i don’t like you like that, i don’t really care what you did this weekend and i’m most certainly not going to tell you what i did this weekend (which was the national aquarium, btw; for someone that has lived in this area for 20+ years, it sad that my first visit was yesterday… it was awesome, i loved it). i expect give-and-take; if i don’t give it, why you think i’m going to take it.
- so i’m really pulling my bootstraps on this whole graduate school application thing. of course, it’s only one thing making me procrastinate with the whole process and that’s the GREs. if i didn’t have to take it (and i am planning on contacting programs to see if, as an older student, if i really need them), i would have been in school already, trust me. anyways, i can’t let one thing stop me, so i’m sucking it up and doing it.
- i also realize that if i get back on a graduate school stipend (also one that would be significantly lower than what i recieved in my last program), i’m gonna need a side hustle. i’m good at organizing and whatnot, so i’m thinking about being a personal assistant part-time. of course, the person would have to have a need for a personal assistant about once or twice a week. i could totally do it.
- i’m not going to lie to you: it’s monday and it was kinda rough this morning. i have been troubleshooting this piece of equipement that we have here in lab for about two months, had the guys come out (from international waters) only to find out that the problem was human error (read: me). that depressed me for a minute, but i carry on. now, running it, i’m starting to see another problem with it and i’m trying my hardest just not to throw my hands up in the air in frustration. i’m going to run several gels with several samples and see if i can make a consice report for the boss and company before i say anything. i. really. hate. troubleshooting.
- but you know what i miss: i miss writing. i used to be a good writer, a really good writer. now, i can barely keep a thought, barely write a paragraph without it being all over the place. look at this entry; it’s in bulletpoints. i want to improve on that.
- there are lots of things that i want to improve on, lots of things that i want to do, but i realize my main problem is that i make too many goals to complete at the same time, so in the end, i don’t complete any. i do want to improve my writing, for example, but other things have to take priority. now, i do not have any time to waste. every day, every hour, every minute, i have to doing something to complete a goal. let’s get to it.

more later.
peace.