soundtrak: atlas sound :: walkabout
life feels crazy for me right now. i’ve been depressed for a good couple of weeks now. i don’t know if i want to get into all of it, if i’ll ever get into any of it, but it’s everything, together, all at the same time.
What did you want to see
What did you want
To be when you grew up
Y sent me an email that was like a slap to the face. a jerk move. but there are things much bigger going on that him and i, so i leave that to the wayside. i don’t have time for that foolishness.
To go away and not look back
And think of what the others say
To go ahead and change your life
Without regard to what they said
i feel like people want me to do, to be somebody that i’m not. something that i don’t feel right now. i don’t need it right now. unfortunately, it makes me feel uncomfortable about who i really am or what i want to be. but i feel like friends, family, society is pressing down on me.
And everyone must do the same
You find yourself must again
The better things you left behind
But looking back you may go blind
i don’t know if this is going to get better. i feel like i’m still in the middle of it, trying to find my way out.
peace.
Forget about “them”, darling. You have to be true to yourself. It is going to get better. Let the pressure make you into a diamond… even coal can start a fire but you need to stay dry. So don’t let anyone rain on your parade. You want to be… the best YOU that you can be. All day every day. Don’t answer to any label that you have not assigned to yourself. All that you need is to reach up to God and say “I need you.” And He’ll give you anything you ask for that’s in His will for your life. I guarantee that!
I recently reminded another friend that in the end it is you and God and that’s the only opinion that matters. And the great thing about that is God loves you without you having to do anything. You are a beautiful crown jewel of His perfect creation. May you feel the fullness of His blessing and the spirit break through the oppression and words/lies of the enemy. *HUG* And if all else fails once I get settled you can come visit for a change of scenery.