soundtrak: amy winehouse :: just friends

here’s a thought: is there a line that can or cannot be crossed in a guy/girl friendship? can’t guys and girls just be friends?

also, i remember this convo that MD and i had with AW one day. he says that men when they first meet a woman, determine if they can sleep with them before the get to the point of ‘just friends.’ agree/disagree?

discuss.

peace.

soundtrak: modest mouse :: dramamine

- i’m starting to feel a little bit better about the whole situation. they did, in the end, agree to give me a master’s, so technically i graduated this summer. i’m trying to see the positive side of this: i got a master’s, i get to go anywhere in the world to go to school, i’ve worked on the issues that i though i would have to deal with for the rest of my life, i met new people. everybody that i’ve told keeps on telling me that i’m so strong, but it’s not me, i tell you. God gives me the strength and through him i’m able to see the bigger picture and for that i’m grateful.
- with all that’s going on this week, i have been keeping much to myself. i’m trying to snap out of it, as i have alot of work to do in these upcoming months (which now include reapplying for school … yay). i took off friday though and ended up just cleaning the house (again… i know). i don’t know what is so therapeutic about cleaning, but i love it. i found some old clothes (that i can wear now) and reorganized some things.
- naj emailed me earlier this week; i take great comfort in our friendship. it’s like we’re on the same wavelength, she’s often thinking the same thing i’m thinking. she’s coming down for our other friend’s wedding this september, so i’m excited about seeing her.
- i had a strange dream this afternoon. i won’t go into the details (not like it would make much sense anyways), but it did involve the members of flight of the con.chords. i’ve been trying to catch up with that show; it’s hilarious. they just bust out into song; i have often wished my life was like this… seriously, with the busting out into song. awesome. i leave you with a clip.

peace.

soundtrak: nightmares on wax :: damn

written: 20 august 2007; 12:20pm

i don’t know when i’m going to post this. i don’t even know when i’m going to tell people. everything seems too soon.

my appeal has been denied. i think i feel more relief than disappointment that a decision has been made. unlike when i found out that i have been booted from my program, it doesn’t feel like my life is over.

i always knew this would be a possibility, that i would be denied. i kept on thinking about it more and more these past couple of weeks. i really wasn’t sure why, but i think it was to help me envision being here, at this point. i even thought about if i did get back in, what that awkward experience would be like interacting with all those professors that voted me out. but i couldn’t see it. i just couldn’t see it.

it’s hard to be positive when you feel like crying. but it is a fresh start. now i’m focusing on trying to at least get a master’s. i recently when to a seminar on how to be a successful science trainee. somebody asked the panel of successful scientists what was the one characteristic that one of the successful students in their lab had. many were mentioned, but the one that stuck out the most was passion; “the fire in the belly”. i kept on thinking: i have that. i have that.

i think in the end, i’m glad that it didn’t work out. i know that i can’t stop now. my passion is unfazed by this turn of events. my passion won’t settle for a master’s. “it’s just taking longer than we thought,” she’s telling me. she’s still hungry.

peace.

soundtrak: feist :: past in present

i didn’t realize what was going on until today. i thought i was just overworking myself and wasn’t eating as regularly as i should. i wasn’t getting enough sleep even though i can’t sleep more than 5 hours a night anyways.
my workout on sunday was bad; i stopped running a couple of times. it felt like i didn’t have enough energy, but i waved it off. driving back from work yesterday, i felt a wave of dizziness (i can’t tell T about that one, he’ll worry too much). i fell asleep in front of my computer yesterday afternoon, but i really didn’t think too hard about it. i woke up at 4 this morning to run, but i just couldn’t get out of bed. driving to work this morning, i was just tired; weary in my bones tired. when i picked up MD this morning, she complained she was tired too, so i just thought it was a tuesday thing. by the time i got to my desk, i was exhausted. i could barely get any work done.
of course, this is when i remembered that i haven’t been taking my iron tablets lately and my anemia was probably flaring up. when i realized this, i looked back on the past couple of days and realized i was losing energy this whole time. i didn’t heed the warning signs.

i didn’t particularly want to make this a psa, but i urge you all to listen to your warning signs. don’t always trust what your doctor tells you; you know your body the best. when things start to change, be on it. the key to good health is prevention. even if there are no signs, get yourself checked out. you might be feeling fine sitting there and your blood pressure/cholesterol is through the roof.
ehh. anyways, i left work a little early and i’m gonna put in an extra hour of sleep and start up on my supplements again.

also, new august playlist is up; see the ‘music’ page and/or click the radio.blog to the right. lots of feist in there. i really like her album that came out recently. songs that stick out especially are ‘gravity’, ‘brandy alexander’ and ‘intuition’; i feel like i’ve been in those situations… like i am in those situations right now. then to round it out, some mylo: in my arms (popular comp. remix) because i always gotta dance. enjoy.

peace.

soundtrak: nightmares on wax :: damn

- trying to keep productive this month, the month that everybody gets the hell out of dodge. the parking lots are empty, the traffic is light. i have a scientific meeting coming up at the beginning of september; i want to finish my poster for this and the other meetings that i have in the later months. maybe take some time off in september or october.
- i’m a little sore this morning. i didn’t really go to the gym all last week, so my training is off again. i really want to finish this program by the end of august; i should be able to run a 5K at the end of this. here’s hoping that this week ends up better.
- my uncle visited yesterday. other than visiting with my parents, he also wanted to the opportunity to talk to al and i about our future endevors. this particular uncle of mine has his PhD and manages labs in kenya. he’s invited me to do a postdoc (if i want to) after i’m done with school. it’s an intriguing offer and something i would have to think about; spending a good 4-5 years in kenya. but i think it would help me to open up my mind to the international view of research and development.
- Y called me thursday afternoon, but i had silenced my phone i think. he didn’t leave a message, which i hate. who does that? am i supposed to call you back or not? i had an appointment later that evening so our convo was brief, but i still don’t know why he called. Y has been acting rather strange lately; i can’t quite put my finger on it.
- anyways, hopefully more updates this week. it’s the end of summer. still working hard; you take it easy for me.

peace.