soundtrak: halloween, alaska :: call it clear

today, i was talking to CB throughout the day about my dream (two posts ago) and my interpretation of it (last post). for me, CB represents a carefree attitude that i know i have rejected throughout the years; i have issues with trying to relax. the car represents my drive and i know it’s loss represents the ordeal that happened to me this year. i remarked to CB, “it’s kinda sad; i feel like i’m moving on from this situation, but my subconscious keeps on bringing it up over and over.”
“yea… sometimes when your subconscious brings things up in your dreams - its mos def time to deal with it,” CB said, “face it head on…things in your dreams… that “shake” you… pay attention to it.” ooh, i hate it when she’s right.

today was also cute postdoc’s last day at work. of course, in true CB fashion, CB tells me to go over there and “just do it.” ever since i’ve met cute postdoc i had the feeling that there was something more to it. i didn’t quite get it until recently; he’s my opportunity to step out of the box.
in the end, i was nervous as hell, but i went over and in french (he was quite surprised and impressed; you know i didn’t take 5 years for nothing), i told him goodbye, good luck and to have a safe flight. after, i felt so much relief; i was so glad that i just did it. just to show to myself that i can do it.

peace.